tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57501489460921555782024-03-05T04:36:53.207+00:00New WhineUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger287125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750148946092155578.post-29402879831064652842017-02-13T18:57:00.000+00:002017-02-13T18:57:18.631+00:00Scars across humanityI don't consider myself a particularly good person. I know - nobody else does either. But I try to do the right things, and often fail. I know that there are those who might raise times when I have been offensive, or inappropriate.<br />
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I don't do very well at being good.<br />
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Then I read Elaine Storkeys new book, Scars Across Humanity.<br />
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As always from Elaine, it is a superbly written book, well researched, clearly and honestly written. But the subject matter is appalling, harrowing and intensely disturbing. As it is meant to be. It is detailing abuse against women across the world, from FGM, to rape, child brides to intimate partner abuse and femicide. It touches on all of these areas, in some detail, and with statistics to back them up.<br />
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As I said, I am not a particularly good person. But the wilful, deliberate abuse of another person, the mutilation and killing of other people for no reason other than their gender makes me sick. The deliberate mental or psychological injury is as bad, and the justification based on culture of religion makes me look with disdain at those cultures and religions. I suspect I am not alone in this, even among people who would, theoretically align themselves with these religions.<br />
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And yes, Christianity has an appalling record in terms of women's rights. Or rather, an appalling record of patriarchal domination and abuse, of justification for horrible, hideous crimes against women.<br />
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And yes, I am ashamed of what has been done in the name of the faith I believe in. And what continues to be done in it's name. Because my faith is about trying to be better, trying to be the presence of the divine, seeking the good in all (and many other things, of course). It is not a faith of abuse and oppression, any more than any other of the major world religions is.<br />
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And as I read the book, I became ashamed of my fellow human beings - especially men. Because when you read something like that, something that highlights the scale and degree of violence and hatred, you have to question what sort of creatures we are who wreak such havoc on ourselves. It is a disgrace.<br />
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I would love to recommend that you read it, but I found it bordering on traumatic, so I struggle to. But if you want to understand why there is a need for feminism still, when, in some parts of society there seems little real need any more, or only against the few stalwarts of paternalism, this book shows why feminism is still so needed. Across the world - in the rich, poor, "Christian" or not, wealthy or in desperate poverty, being a woman is still a disadvantage.<br />
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Until that is changed, there will be a need for books like this. That is a sad necessity.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750148946092155578.post-10421481118973189022016-12-12T08:52:00.000+00:002016-12-12T08:52:41.307+00:00Why it is all Simon Cowells fault.Just to make it clear, I have not watched x-factor for many years, and apparently Cowell has mellowed. I have never seen BGT either. But I did watch x-factor for a number of years and gave up when I started to realise what it was.<br />
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The people who enter are split into two categories. The first one is those who have little actual talent, and will never make it in the music industry. For these, the show, the entire format is abuse. They are put up to be laughed at, nothing more. They are encouraged to think that they have more talent than they have, while everyone knows that they are not going to achieve much.<br />
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This is different form, say, The Voice - everyone on that who is shown could make it in the business somewhere. Every one is musically talented, even if they don't quite work for the particular show. But Cowell likes his freak show. That is one reason why I stopped watching.<br />
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The other category are those who do have some talent, who can sing, and who might achieve success in the business. Some of the winners are in this category, but not all.<br />
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The problem with them is that they are "Cowelled" - turned into standard pop song production machines. Even those who have real talent - like Alexandria Burke - are modelled to produce the "right" songs. the reason is that Cowell - and his like - are interested in making money out of the music industry. They are not interested in musical heritage or real talent. He forms the winners to produce money out of the industry machine.<br />
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There is no way that any of the great icons of music would ever have come out of this process. On the other side, none of the x-factor stars will be musical legends of the future - they will not be the next Bowie, Iggy, Lake, Emerson, whoever. And yet flooding the market with the Cowell-clones inhibits the development of these real icons and geniuses.<br />
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The fact that Cowell has so demeaned the music market to simply make money from it is what annoys me, what angers me about what he does. He is not in the business of finding talent - he wouldn't know talent if it slapped him around the head. He is in the business of making money, pure and simple.<br />
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But there is more, of course. Why is everything his fault? Because the x-factor voting has affected us all. The idea of voting for the joke, because it seemingly annoys Simon. Of course, it didn't really - it helped the rating for the show, so he was delighted. The idea of voting for the joke seems to have spread to the political arena too - making the "protest vote", because this is fun, and doesn't really matter. Except that, of course, it does. Because, underneath it all, there is someone else manipulating the system to make themselves more money.<br />
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The problem with Cowell is that he has normalised abuse, monetisation and "votes don't really matter" attitudes. Of course, it is not purely him, not all his fault, but he has some culpability. So maybe he has mellowed, but the damage may have already been done.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750148946092155578.post-82072384469164218212016-07-05T10:18:00.000+01:002016-07-05T10:18:22.796+01:00The referendum.On the day of voting, we went away for a 2-week holiday in Ireland. This has had two effects - firstly, stopping me having a chance to properly comment, and secondly, giving me a distinct perspective on the result.<br />
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I should point out, to anyone who missed it, that I am a passionate supporter of the remain campaign. Of course, some people will assume that my anger and frustration is because I am on the losing side. It isn't. I am a member of the green party, so I am used to having the good arguments but not winning. I also voted on the losing side on the last referendum about changing the voting system. I am quite used to being on the losing side.<br />
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The reason I am angry is simpler than that. It is because leaving the EU would be the single stupidest and economically and politically suicidal action that any country has ever done, a position that would not be changed even if the US were to elect Trump as president.<br />
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I will explain why this is later, when I explore some of the implications of leaving. firstly, I want to comment on the campaign, which has been a shambles. More importantly, two academics who looked relatively dispassionately at the claims made for both sides said that the leave campaign produced lies on an "industrial scale". The other, who was doing fact checking on the claims found that, while the remain campaigns claims were broadly supported by their sources, the leave campaigns were totally unsupported - they lied about their claims in every single case.<br />
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That seems to me to be deceit of the British public on an unprecedented scale.<br />
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I did try to be as balanced as I could and consider the opposing arguments. I wanted to understand them, even if I fundamentally disagreed. There was, eventually, one that I could support. Just one.<br />
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The biggest claim, regularly repeated, was that we paid £350M into the EU a week. This was, as many people said, utterly false - after the rebates, we paid something more like £250M.<br />
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I should be clear here, I am no expert on EU economics, I am trying to find some real figures that show the actual values, not the headline values.<br />
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The rebates are applied before anything is paid, so this is not money we will save - it is money we have already not been paying in. It's more like if you have to pay a speeding ticket. The headline cost of the speeding ticket is £100. If you pay without contesting it, you are eligible for a 50% discount (rebate). So the actual cost of the speeding fine is £50. To argue that it is £100, so by paying early you have £50 spare is obtuse at the least.<br />
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On top of that (as I understand it), the EU provides subsidies to a number of businesses in the UK - in particular, farm subsidies under the CAP. The leave campaign promised to continue to pay these, so they have to be removed from the equation, leaving around £170M a week that we pay in. Vastly different from the £350M. And to the farmers who supported the leave campaign - why do you believe that these subsidies will be continued indefinitely? They won't under a right-wing government, because the state should not be providing financial support to any business.<br />
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What do we get for this? We get membership of the EU, and all of the indirect financial benefits that this brings. It serves to attract multinational businesses to our soil, because they can then sell within the EU. It serves to provide a far larger amalgamation of countries to negotiate international trade treaties with, which provide us with far better deals than we could ever negotiate on our own. The current crop of political leaders do not seem to be particularly good negotiators, and I very much doubt that any of them could get good deals from our trading partners across the world.<br />
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I have seen some complaints that "we never receive as much from the EU as we put in." This is true, and, as one of the largest economies in the world, is absolutely reasonable. The final figure that we pay is probably around £6B - which sounds like a large figure, but is not in terms of a national budget. For comparison, it is a very conservative figure of the amount lost through tax evasion in the UK in a year. Total tax avoidance - the legal but morally compromised non-payment - is vastly higher than this (I am not quoting exact figures, because they vary from source to source, and depend on how you calculate them).<br />
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It is rather like paying to be a member of a golf club. Nobody expects to get back the money they pay to be in the club, because they see it has other benefits. Some of these are the ability to play golf, but others are the chance to discuss business with potential partners. For many, the indirect benefits they receive are far more than the cost of membership. So it is with the EU. I have seen quoted that a 0.5% drop in the economic growth of the UK would wipe out the entire payments we make (although I don't know what figure for payments this uses). So membership has to provide a boost of 0.5% - not much - to balance the payments.<br />
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This brings me onto the second issue raised - that we could control our borders. Even aside from the blatant racism that is inherent in this, and the implication that immigration is purely negative (it isn't - on the whole, immigration has proven very positive for our country), this is blatantly untrue. Our biggest trading partner is the EU, and if we were to negotiate an agreement with them, it would be on the basis of having open borders. In fact, it would be on a very similar basis to what we currently have. Leaving the EU would impact our trading relationship mainly in that we would no longer be on the inside to negotiate ourselves - we would have to accept whatever the EU insisted on. That seems a very poor deal in real terms. And it would do nothing to impact immigration from the EU. If we want to impact it from other places, we can do that anyway.<br />
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The one argument that held some weigh was that the EU is an irredeemable bureaucratic mess. I can see this point, in that the EU is rather red-tape heavy. I don't believe it is irredeemable though. I do believe that if we in Britain had been wholly in and supporting the EU for the last 10-15 years, and working with others to make it better, more streamlined, more efficient - rather than simply trying to get what we could for ourselves - it might be in far better shape.<br />
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So what is - and will be - the impact of the vote and of leaving (assuming nobody decides to actually do something useful and stop this ridiculous process)? I think we saw on the day after the vote the impact it will have on our economy - the stock market and the pound crashed. They have recovered since, but I suspect, if it became clear we were going to go through with this, they would crash and stay crashed. The banks think this is a stupid thing to do.<br />
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But that is short term. More importantly, multinational business will stop investing in the UK, because they may as well invest in a country inside the EU, where they can gain all of the benefits. Even those companies who have claimed that they will not leave will, I suspect, withdraw further investment, because their payback is so much greater by investing elsewhere. That in itself will cause us long-term damage. We took many years to attract companies like Toyota to the UK, but we can lose them very quickly, and then will have to spend many years encouraging them back.<br />
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Maybe more importantly than that, it is clear that Scotland and Northern Ireland want to stay in the EU. I fully expect that they will try to block an exit, at least until they can separate from England and Wales, and remain as members independently. Being in Ireland, it is interesting that there are even questions about reuniting the country - apparently, people may be prepared to put aside centuries of religious conflict and fundamental disagreement to not be a part of the insanity.<br />
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Scotland, of course, were far closer in their vote whether to stay or leave. Being in the North of Ireland, and having been just 12 miles from Scotland, I do wonder whether a "Western Nations" grouping could form - Scotland and a united Ireland. It would leave England as a very minor player in the area.<br />
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But it is not only businesses that will leave, though. The fact that all of the academics whose specialism is the EU said that leaving would be disastrous, and they were ignored. The anti-intellectualism we have seen is liable to lead more and more academics to consider whether this is a place they want to work. Additionally, the ease of communication and travel across the EU means that collaboration is comparatively easy, and for many, the ease of this will outweigh any provisions at a particular institution. More and more top level research is done internationally, and this will be impacted. Additionally, of course, the EU does put money into academic research, and if the projects aren't available in the UK, the researchers will move elsewhere.<br />
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Of course, this is only the tip of the iceberg. This is just identifiable sections of the community who may consider a change in circumstances. There are many others, like myself, who would seriously consider it, but I don't have the resources or ability to make a move. But most of all, and saddest of all, I think this entire process, and the decade of chaos that is to come from it, will disillusion many people about the whole of politics. The politicians are in a shambles, and they have utterly lost the confidence of the public at large. That is a dangerous and problematic situation.<br />
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Finally, from an Irish perspective, you would have thought the people of the UK would have learned that identifying oneself in opposition to others, vilifying them and spreading hatred does not tend to lead to a happy situation. That is the lesson of history that nobody seems to want to learn.<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750148946092155578.post-10481901954400433782016-07-01T23:07:00.000+01:002016-07-01T23:07:15.240+01:00"Person first" languageI noticed <a href="http://ollibean.com/2016/03/03/person-first-language-and-ableism/">an interesting article</a> recently, and it prompted me to think again about a posting I had been considering on this topic.<br />
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It was several years ago that I first encountered this, in relationship to my son who is diabetic. Or as I was told at the time, who has diabetes. It had me thinking about my own depression and how I consider this.<br />
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So I was told that I shouldn't say my son is a diabetic, because that defines him by his illness. Then I consider that he has to test and inject several times a day, a routine that impacts his life hourly. It affects his health, and, when he is not good at controlling his levels and ends up in hospital, that takes him out for a day or so.<br />
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So his illness affects every part of his life, every day, and will for the rest of his life. It seems to me that describing him as "a diabetic", in the sense that this aspect does define a lot of his life, it is an important and significant aspect of who he is. Now it is not all he is, but it is one aspect that defines him. He is a diabetic, he is a boy, he is a geek, he is my son. None of these define him totally, all of them seem like valid aspects that are defining - and will be for the rest of his life.<br />
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In the same way, I am happy to define myself as a depressive. I cannot remember when I first started to suffer from this illness, but my age was in single figures. I have battled with this for some 45 years, through my "formative" teenage years, through my working life, through my marriage and children. It would be disingenuous at the least to try to identify myself apart from an illness that has been present for most of my life.<br />
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That doesn't mean I welcome the illness, but that I accept that it is formative and critical to who I am. To pretend that I now have an existence that is not impacted by my illness is to live in a fantasy. My illness does not totally define me, but it impacts everything about me. I am more than my depression, but everything about me is impacted by it. I might not like it, but that is the truth.<br />
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So I can see the appeal of "person first" language, but I think it is a dangerous approach to chronic illness, because it is pretending that life is different from what it is. So for me, I will continue to describe myself as a depressive. That is who I am, and I am quite happy to acknowledge it.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750148946092155578.post-18836018906948383002016-06-15T09:16:00.000+01:002016-06-15T09:16:07.919+01:00PanamaThe Panama papers that came out some time ago now revealed that all sorts of politicians and senior figures have money stashed in a Panama tax haven. Not that this is really a surprise to anyone, but it is interesting to have proof.<br />
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Of course, this was one legal firm in one tax haven, so it is fairly random who is caught in this particular revelation. And, I should point out, it is perfectly legal. Whether it is moral or not is a whole different question, and a far more difficult one to address.<br />
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There is another issue that has come out from this, which is, I think, a far more significant issue, which is that many of the worlds tax havens are British dependencies. Places like the Channel Islands, and the Isle of Man are included, but the British Virgin Islands and the Cayman Islands are also dependencies. This means that we, the British, support and promote world Tax Havens - at a time when we are told that there is no money for the NHS, for Schools, for the disabled, we control places where trillions of pounds are stashed away to avoid paying tax.<br />
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Does that sound wrong to you? That one of the biggest industries that we as a country support across the world not only provides no money to the UK, but actively promotes a reduction in tax income to countries across the world (including the UK).<br />
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One day, we will look back at this and be shocked and ashamed. It is an international trade of shame that we will look on like slavery - that sounds rather dramatic, but the money invested in these places is deliberately being taken outside the laws of other countries, deliberately being put into places where it can be hidden.<br />
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This means that we, in the UK, support a business internationally that generates no income for us in the UK, and mainly serves to help people avoid supporting their own economies. We should stop it - the argument that if we didn't do it, others would is moot because we support the majority of the places that are doing it - we could challenge the entire international tax avoidance business. We could provide millions more into the treasuries across the world.<br />
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The problem, of course, is that most of those involved in legislative procedure have large amounts of money invested (hidden) in these places. And they have connection to others who have money invested there. So there is no real incentive to change things is there.<br />
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With the claims about how much we are spending on the EU (which are wrong), this money dwindles into insignificance compared to how much we, in the UK, are helping to hide from legitimate governments across the world. Our support for tax havens is a national disgrace. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750148946092155578.post-70298222824506572016-05-24T21:42:00.001+01:002016-05-24T21:42:36.779+01:00The church is too slowIt took 20 years for the Church of England to agree to ordain women, from the point where it was first raised. That is quite extraordinary, in modern society. At the start of this time, the ordination would have been a radical and groundbreaking step, identifying the church as a leader in equality politics.<br />
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By the time it actually happened, it was playing a game of catch-up, trying not to be one of the last bastions of male privilege. While it was great for those who could then be ordained, it indicated far bigger problems in the church.<br />
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It then took another 20 years to propose making women bishops, which is ridiculous. If anything, it highlighted the gender inequality even more, because it quite simply denied certain top positions to them, irrespective of their qualification for the role. The fact that the first vote rejected the idea was quite unbelievable. 40 years after it had been established that there was no theological reason to deny women positions within the clergy, some within the church had still not got the message.<br />
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The whole farce has, without question, lost the church many people who are tired at the slow pace of change.<br />
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I should make it clear that, while the Church of England is very much the focus of this, most other churches show the same type of slowness in dealing with other issues, or even this one. There are churches who will not let women into leadership still (not just the Roman Catholics, who have a far bigger mountain to climb).<br />
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And today, the church is still struggling with homosexuality. Having congratulated itself on allowing women to be bishops, as if this is a radical move, it then turns on alternative sexualities and rejects them, flying totally in the face of the rest of society.<br />
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I don't mean that the church should be mirroring society. I don't think this is the biggest danger at the moment. Rather, the church should be leading society in terms of acceptance. They should not be accepting gays because society is - they should have been accepting of gays way before society did, and seeking to encourage them into stable, long-term relationships, rather than promiscuity, which was, at one time, rather more common (before AIDS made this far too risky). The church should be ahead of the curve, rather than objecting to conforming after the fact. <br />
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And this worries me because the church is liable to spend many years tearing itself apart over homosexuality (and then many more years over bisexuality, asexuality and all sort of other alternative sexualities) before finally being forced to catch up, having lost many more people. To be clear, the church still seems to consider sexuality in a binary sense (Homosexuality vs Heterosexuality), and hasn't really started to understand the breadth of sexuality that people express.<br />
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In this time, it should be accepting people irrespective of their sexuality, and looking at issues of gender fluidity. This will become accepted within our society in the next few years, way before the church has even acknowledged that it is a question that needs consideration. People should - of course - be accepted irrespective of their gender definition, but more than this, the church should be helping people acknowledge and understand their gender in far more fluid terms than a simple binary.<br />
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I am sure that there will be those who say "We never had gender fluidity when I was young. It's just a fad." I disagree. In fact, it has always been around and an issue, but you may not have met it for two reasons:<br />
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1. So many who could not resolve their gender in a way that society would accept either hid it or took their own lives. Both of these involve a life lived in pain and denial.<br />
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2. People who have gender questions would probably not come to you or to the church, knowing that they would be condemned.<br />
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The church is too slow. By the time it comes to ask important questions, most people have moved on. By the time it comes to answer them, they are seen as a dinosaur. While this is bad for the church, I am more concerned at the many people who are condemned, hurt, rejected and damaged while this process goes on. It is not acceptable.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750148946092155578.post-62799356669787702592016-05-19T09:27:00.001+01:002016-05-19T09:27:39.637+01:00Is this government a cult? A discussion on the Ship made me consider that this government might, in fact be a religious cult. Let me explain why I think this.<br />
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1. A charismatic leader. Well, some people think he is. A smooth talker at least. That is a good start, someone who seems to be able to convince people that black is white.<br />
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2. An unerring belief in their own ideas. Irrespective of how demonstrably wrong or mistaken they are, they still believe that the Tory Ideal for Britain. The problems are always something to do with either the precise implementation, or the refusal of other people to accept them properly.<br />
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3. Total dismissal of anyone who disagrees with their principles. We have most recently seen this in the gagging of government funded science, where scientists are not allowed to criticise the government if they are funded by them. But it is wider - they refuse to accept insight from anywhere that does not sign up to the Tory Way.<br />
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4. "It is the right thing to do" - I have heard this so often, it is becoming a Cameron mantra. But it is the justification for all sorts of things, and there is nothing to really say against it. "No it isn't" sounds like childish arguing, but often this is the appropriate response. It is a brilliant piece of strategy and a dangerous approach to governing.<br />
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5. "If you vote for anyone else, you will go to hell". We hear this - in various forms - so often. Labour will ruin the economy (like the Tories haven't already), anyone else is a waste, voting for the Tories is a vote for a Greater Britain. It is so like the language used in churches and cults - "Stay with us, however much we abuse you, because if you leave your worst nightmares will happen". It works in so many abusive relationships.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750148946092155578.post-25201842776502129212016-04-28T20:47:00.004+01:002016-04-28T20:47:53.941+01:00Earthquake, wind and fireRecently, I have attended my first Quaker meeting, and it got me to thinking about how I experience God, and how that has changed. This is about those reflections, and where I have gone through to get where I am today. The idea of how things have changed partly reflects the words to Elijah - although not entirely. For me, God has spoken through the Earthquake, Wind and Fire, and is now, maybe, speaking through the Still Small Voice.<br />
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I used to meet God in the earthquake - the noise, the unsettled reality. That time and experience helped me see God wherever I was, at work, in the car, in the city. I was not having to go somewhere else to find God, to experience him, because I could experience Him in the business of life. I still can - I have not lost that, just moved on. God is there in the noise, the music, the chaos.<br />
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I also used to meet God in the wind - in nature. Seeing a sense of God in the natural is important, and reflects (as the previous idea does) something of a Celtic perspective. This is not about worshipping nature, but about seeing God as a creator God who can be experienced through the natural world.<br />
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Anyone who knows some of what I have been through in the last decade or so knows that it has felt like the fire. It has been a difficult few years, and I still hurt from them, but I have found a new experience of God in it all. In truth, I am struggling to say I have found an experience of God through it, but I can hope that I can say this in time. I have been through the fire, and I have not lost my faith, which might be all I can say.<br />
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And now, maybe, I can find him in the still small voice, that is the Quaker style. I can't say that I will definitely stay with them, but the approach of being quiet, listening for God, experiencing him in the quiet. I think he has always been there, but it has never been where I have met him. I think the silence is nothing like as oppressive as what I call "Anglican Silence". The silence can be broken, and there is an acceptance that for some people it will mean nothing. What is more, it is only an hour. That used to seem like a long time for me, but I have learnt to manage that. It might be old age (I am sure it is not maturity).<br />
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Additionally, the "Anglican Silence" (not just Anglican, but it is prevalent in some areas of Anglicanism as seen in silent retreats in particular) is very much about "providing some input and insight, and then being silent to consider this and pray about this. I have always found that insanely aggravating, because I want to talk about what we have heard, to think it through with others.<br />
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The Quaker silence turns this upside down. The silence - with any words brought during that - are the place where the insights come. There is time to consider them, to work with them in silence, but then there is time to talk and discuss (if needed).<br />
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I should clarify that this list is not a hierarchy. It is not that I used to experience God in one way, and now I have matured and experience Him in a new way. It is that I change, and develop, and add new ways of experiencing God. It is descriptive of my journey, not prescriptive in any sense.<br />
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Why Quakerism? I think I have had enough of services, of the songs, the sermons, the prayers, the words. I have heard them all, sung them all, spoken them all, and they are no longer ways that enable me to engage with God. Worship that has none of it is different.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750148946092155578.post-2617136936063627802016-04-15T20:31:00.001+01:002016-04-16T18:09:48.501+01:00Cancellation - a short story<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mum was furious, of course.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“That’s unprofessional, cancelling at such short notice.
What are we expected to do now?” Of course, what she did was work furiously to
find someone else. But it was never going to be the same.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had been looking forward to this for so long, because this
was going to be a very special event. I know it was only opening the town fate,
but he was going to be here, and I – as mums only daughter – would be in charge
of him, look after him for the hours he was around.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Of course, at school, this made me the centre of all
attention. Everyone wanted to be my friend – except Jennifer Oswald, if I remember
correctly, who though he was a creepy old man. But then, she was never one to
go along with the crowd. I looked her up recently, and found that she had taken
her own life many years ago. That shook me. I wondered when I read that.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And yes, I loved being the special one for a change. I loved
all of the attention being about me – well, about him, but about me being the
conduit to him.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When mum told me he had cancelled, my world fell apart. It
might have been the last chance I had to meet him – he was doing less these
days, and he was rarely on the TV. This was my one chance gone.<br />
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Needless to say, the day itself was an embarrassing failure,
despite mum finding some soap star who could fill in.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was a few years later that he died, and it all started. I
couldn’t believe it when the rumours started, all those people telling lies
about him. Why would they do that? Why would they say that stuff about him, my
hero. Why would they tell all them lies about him? He would never do that – he loved
kids. I couldn’t understand why so many people wanted to make him out to be a
monster. Stupid cows – telling their stories for their minutes of fame.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Of course, now I realise the truth. Now I know what he was,
I can see. It’s amazing what hindsight does. Now I realise that I had a lucky
escape. I used to think that the weekend was my nightmare when I had missed my
chance to meet Jimmy Savile. I now realise that it was my lucky escape from
rape, abuse, a nightmare like Jennifer. </div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750148946092155578.post-32817878712636165692016-03-17T21:26:00.000+00:002016-03-17T21:26:19.252+00:00CFS and MEAt a recent visit to my doctors, she raised the possibility that I might have CFS, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, also known as ME or PVFS. Which, I have to say, sucks big time.<br />
<br />
So I have been exploring and considering what this might mean, what CFS might be caused by, at least in my case. I think I have come to an understanding that seems to work for me (and I am not offering any wider perspective, or any clinical perspective).<br />
<br />
When I am ill, one of the things my body (and this is common to most people) does is goes to sleep. My mum says that I always used to do that, and I still do, because sleep is a natural healer. Often, when I am ill with a virus or similar, this works because the body has a chance to fight the problem, and I get better after a day or so.<br />
<br />
The problem, as I understand it, is when this reaction goes out of control. In PVFS (Post Viral Fatigue Syndrome), the sleep response doesn't stop once the body is capable of handling the remaining infection. I have suffered with this before I think, and eventually I got over it - after three months.<br />
<br />
The other time when it can kick in is when the body can tell that it is ill, but sleeping is not the solution. Depression is a case in point, when sleeping is unlikely to improve things. I suspect this is the case for me here, so I am hoping that this will lift given some time.<br />
<br />
But this is not to dismiss the fact that ME can be, and often is, very long term - many years. I suspect this is still the same process, but where the response does not die away after time. the body continues to think that it needs to sleep to heal, but it doesn't.<br />
<br />
<br />
So, that is how it feels. As I said, it is not a clinical assessment, just a representation of how it feels for me.<br />
<br />
On a day when I have nothing else to do, I will sleep later than usual (9-9:30), enabling me to do a little bit, but nothing too strenuous. I will eat lunch around midday, and then need another snooze before being able to do a little bit in the afternoon. It is not unknown to be asleep or nearly asleep all afternoon. After tea, the evening is normally OK, but I am not a night owl, usually heading for bed for 10:00 - 11:00.<br />
<br />
That has quite an effect on my life. I do manage to work, which is exhausting but satisfying. I know that I am fortunate to manage to work, despite the fact that this takes me out for the evening. What is more, it means that I cannot concentrate for a long period - this means that writing something like this blog is a struggle. Keeping the concentration to compose and type a piece of this is difficult.<br />
<br />
"OK so it is just being tired then? I get that when I do too much". Once again, this is missing two of the three letters. The third word is "Syndrome", which just means that nobody really understands what it is about. The other two, that are so often missed are "Chronic" and "Fatigue".<br />
<br />
"Chronic" means that it doesn't go away, it doesn't get better with sleep, it is always there, and there is no immediate chance of it going away. It is not just being really tired when you have been busy - it is being tired whether busy or not, whether you have had a good nights sleep or not.<br />
<br />
"Fatigue" is not tiredness. It is the ache and struggle to move that comes with a body that wants to stay asleep, to recover, and not to have to move. And it is that ache that comes when you are so tired that your muscles are sore. And this doesn't go away with a bath and sleep.<br />
<br />
So yes, it is real, and it is disabling.Over last weekend I was on a retreat, and I discovered what I could do, with no pressure. If I had a nap in the morning, and another one after lunch, I could cope and be gently sociable the rest of the time. I could do some writing and reading with this regime. One day I even managed to go out for a while (I would walk down the garden occasionally). That is about it. That is my ability without getting tired and incapable.<br />
<br />
Against that it should be noted that I hold down a full time job. If you have understood that, you might realise just how much this costs me, how much it takes to achieve that and why I can do little else.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750148946092155578.post-8640314367888398452016-03-05T19:06:00.001+00:002016-03-05T19:06:47.895+00:00The virginity mythI read an article some time ago arguing that virginity was, in fact, a myth. I suspect it was related to a book The Purity Myth, but the article did explain all sorts of false ideas about what virginity is and isn't (I would link if I could find it again - sorry). There were two significant factors highlighted:<br />
<br />
1. There is no way to tell is a woman has had sex or not. The hymen can be broken in many ways, and can repair or be repaired.<br />
<br />
2. Virginity is impossible to define in any meaningful way.<br />
<br />
There is a more significant aspect for the purity culture campaigners that I will come onto later, but I want to consider the second point above first.<br />
<br />
What is virginity? Does it mean not having had sex - and how do you define sex? If you mean male-female penis/vagina sex, then there are many gay people who are virgins. If you define it in terms of experiencing orgasm then I would suggest you cannot find more than a few teenagers who are virgins - masturbation is a part of growing up. Or are we going to define it as orgasm with another person, meaning that whacking yourself off means you are still a virgin, but getting a hand job from your partner means you aren't? What is the conceptual difference that makes these so different?<br />
<br />
Sorry to be so graphic, but it seems important to some people to define virginity, and define it in a way that is very physical. The reality is that it sexual experience is not so easily defined and categorised. For which we should all be grateful.<br />
<br />
<br />
The truth is, for most people today, this is not a problem. For those who argue that sexual experience should be entirely limited to marriage are firstly condemning newly married couples to some difficult times (if you have spent the last ten or so years resisting sexual desires, how are you expected to suddenly release them? Especially having been told that they are bad, sinful and dirty?) but also condemning those who behave in a more natural way, who learn how to channel their desires properly. What is more, these very ideas are based on completely mistaken scientific and theological concepts (and nothing gets me angry like bad science combined with bad theology). I want to look at a few aspects of this and explore how meaningless they are.<br />
<br />
1. Where do babies come from? Today, we have a reasonably good idea of the processes that are required to produce a baby. But there have been a lot of strange ideas about how you get pregnant and how you don't. I have heard, within my lifetime, people arguing that you can't get pregnant the first time you have sex, or unless you have an orgasm. More importantly, there was an idea that the male seed was a baby, and the woman's role was purely to host it as it grew. We know now that both partners play an important role in the generation of a new life, and actually, the female contribution is possibly more significant - a woman releases one egg every month, whereas a man releases millions of sperm in the same period. The male contribution does seem rather more random.<br />
<br />
But the idea that the man creates a new life, while the woman simply stores it tends to dismiss women, as so often, into a subservient role. If semen is babies, then it contains life, and should be considered near sacred. If it is merely a half cell, ready to join another half cell and together create life, then it is rather less special. Some of the ideas of sex being only for within marriage and only for creating babies makes a degree of sense within that idea, but if you destroy that idea, it loses a lot of its power. Of course, the patriarchy would not let something like that diminish its control.<br />
<br />
2. Mary, the mother of Jesus, has been a controversial figure through history. In the context of this discussion, it is the idea of her "purity" and "perpetual virginity" that is of significance here. She is held up, in her idealised state, as the perfect woman, to whom all women should aspire. The problems are manifold here: firstly, the "idealised" Mary is idealised by men - the male priesthood - and is not a real person; secondly, she cannot be the model for all women, because she is in a specific time and place; thirdly, the idea of her perpetual virginity is a strange one, that doesn't really accord with the biblical stories; finally, her purity is about a poor and dangerous interpretation.<br />
<br />
To take the first two together, what we have is powerful men telling women that they should aspire to be their idealised woman. That is at least verging on abusive, and has been used in an abusive way throughout the centuries. This is wrong is every way - this idealised person is a myth, and a dangerous one; the idea that a woman from the first century in Palestine should be the model for all women across the world and across time is peculiar. She was never meant to be a model, and we know so little about her, it is dangerous to use her as such.<br />
<br />
Mary is always described as a "virgin", a word that is actually better translated as "a girl of marriageable age". It is more to do with her status and age than her sexual experience, although there is a very high chance that she was sexually inexperienced. Her claim to the angel that "I am still a virgin" was just about saying that she hadn't had intercourse with Joseph, so her pregnancy was not something expected. She was chosen by God not because she was virginal, but because she was willing. She was "pure of heart" because she was young and prepared to accept that God could do something with her. It is more about her attitude than her sexual history.<br />
<br />
3. Sex is evil. This is a message that the church has given for so many centuries that it is hard to change the idea.The church has - and does - have a problem with passion and intensity. Sexual activity for pleasure has always been a problem for the church (while accepting, sometimes reluctantly the necessity for reproduction).<br />
<br />
There is more than a whiff of gnosticism about this, the separation of "spiritual" from "physical". the problem is not just that this emphasises our spiritual as more important than the physical (which I would broadly concur with), as the fact that it divides them (which I wouldn't). If we separate them, we diminish both sides, we restrict the possibility of the spiritual. In truth, we can find God in the physical, because (in my view at least) if we can't we will not find him anywhere. So yes, it is possible to engage in physical activity - including sexual activity - and not find the spiritual, but I don't think it is possible to find the spiritual without engaging in the physical. That is, to me, the core message of the incarnation.<br />
<br />
<br />
This is the problem with "purity culture", the idea that we can keep ourselves pure and unsullied until marriage. It diminished marriage, it diminishes sex and it diminishes the spiritual. More than that, it harms people, burdens them with guilt and a sense of dirtiness. It is a form of abuse and control. In the end, it does people more harm - physically, mentally and emotionally as well as spiritually - than any amount of sexual activity is liable to.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750148946092155578.post-75425313092431282532016-02-18T19:54:00.001+00:002016-02-18T19:54:29.955+00:00Do unto othersMatt 7:12 and Luke 6:31 is one of the often quoted core aspect of Christianity: Do unto others as you would have them do to you. As I was thinking about this recently and realised that it is not as self-effacing as it appears to be, and I had to consider whether this is because it is less altruistic than we understand, or that we need to re-express it in a way that reflects the meaning of the original.<br />
<br />
The problem with it is that it focusses on the giver. It says, or implies, that the way the giver wants to be treated is the right thing for everyone. This can be patronising, but - more commonly - it can also be unhelpful. If what I want others to do for me is to leave me alone when I am struggling, then a strict interpretation of this means that I should leave others alone when they are struggling. Of course, not everyone wants to be left alone - some people find it better to have others around them, to be visibly supported. In this case, doing to others would be seen as a negative. Of course, it also works the other way round.<br />
<br />
Now I am not suggesting for one moment that we abandon this passage "The Golden Rule" just because it can be misused. I think it is far too important to be simply ignored, rather, we need to work a little harder to properly understand the depth of it. I tend to reject the idea that it is intended as a justification for patronising people, because Jesus explains it as "summing up the law and the prophets", which do not patronise. So I am forced to consider how it should be expressed.<br />
<br />
I think it might better be expressed as "Treat others how they wish to be treated, considering how you would wish to be treated in the same circumstances". Not quite as catchy, but changing the emphasis to the receiver, and what they want, not the giver. I might want to simply say "Treat others how they want to be treated", and this is, to my mind, the heart of it, but not the whole. It should involve asking others how they would like to be treated, but, for example, a thief might decide that he wants to be treated as if he wasn't a thief, and be allowed to get away with it. That is not necessarily the best for anyone.<br />
<br />
So there is a part which also asks how you would like to be treated in a similar situation. However, this is a secondary consideration, and should be a more general aspect - "with mercy" would be a good answer here. The thief may want to be allowed to go free, but, if I were in a similar situation, I would want to not have to steal any more. I would want to be helped out of the situation I was in that meant I was stealing and had been caught. So punishment is appropriate, but merciful and with a view to redemption, not simply suffering.<br />
<br />
We - Christians, the Church, Westerners - are very good at using this sort of passage to inflict our solutions on other people. I do not believe that was the intention,and I don't think that is how it would have been heard originally. The intention is not to focus on you, but to put you in the other persons place, and then to consider how you would feel - if you were actually there, rather than just hypothetically.<br />
<br />
It is very easy to say "If I was unemployed, I wouldn't want handouts, I would want people to find me things to do in my lovely spare time". That is hypothetical, and probably not true. It is harder to say "If I was where they are, unemployed and asking for money, I would want someone to give me some money". That is really what it is about, actually putting yourself into their shoes now, at the point of contact.<br />
<br />
In the end, it reflects a saying that I hold very close, despite the antiquated and trite language: "There but for the grace of God go I". I have never been able to rephrase this as succinctly, so I stick with this phrasing, and understand it as meaning that I might be in their shoes, were it not for some twists of fate. If I was in their shoes, I would want people to be good and kind to me, in a way that I want, not in a way that they deem is good for my soul.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750148946092155578.post-27271976401267691482016-02-07T15:12:00.001+00:002016-02-07T15:12:56.799+00:00Opting outOne of the greenbelt talks was by Stephen Oram discussing the question of opting out. And yes, I know that was ages ago, but it takes me a long time to put these thoughts in place sometimes. At the time, it made me think that the idea is a fallacy, because it is actually impossible to opt out.<br />
<br />
I am very positive about the idea of opting out, in theory at least. There is some attraction about going "off the grid", cutting dependencies on others - no internet, no television, making your own electricity, recycling everything you can, growing your own food. Actually, I would miss the connection with others, but I would like to make my own electricity, personally recycle stuff more, have less reliance on services. I would also find it a whole lot of hard work, and enjoy not having to do all of this.<br />
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The problem I have is that it is only possible to be off grid to a certain extent. I want to identify the things we can do and the ones we can't.<br />
<br />
The services are the first thing to try to sort out. Electricity can, if you have a large enough area, generate this from solar panels and wind turbines. Gas we have to do without, but we can heat with wood burners, and cook in a similar way, if we have an appropriate supply. So with a large enough area, this works.<br />
<br />
Water we can achieve if we have a stream on our property, so we need to take care at finding the right place. Of course if too many people take water from a stream, it will run dry, so we also need to collect rainwater, and use this where possible. The other service, telephone and internet, is impossible to get without paying, so we either have to accept this or do without this. It is, of course, possible to have no phone or internet, but then you would not be able to read this.<br />
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Sewage can be dealt with by recycling the water having cleaned it up enough for some purposes. Recycling the excrement as fertiliser can be achieved with a little work - a dry closet does this, apparently. So the services can be attended to.<br />
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Food can be grown, if you are prepared to harvest and deal with it yourself. That is a large amount of work, but, assuming that you are not working outside your home, this should not be a basic challenge<br />
<br />
The problem with this is that it has too narrow a scope. Which is a strange thing to say given that it seems to require a lot of planning and organisation. However, the aim is to "opt out", to remove oneself from a dependency on a society that we might reject (for any reason).<br />
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Firstly, I presume that there is a house on the property, which has been built using resources from the society. This could be avoided if you choose to build the house yourself, but somewhere in that, there is likely to be some external dependency. Can you build a house yourself without using facilities from outside? It can be done by skip diving, but this is not opting out, this is depending on other peoples rubbish. If you use tradespersons, they are external resources that are needed.<br />
<br />
An existing property has all of this already inherent in the location. This is opting out only for the now, using what has been created already. This is like being homeless for a few weeks, and thinking you know what it is like. It is one of the things that irritates me about the "sleep-out" events. One night sleeping out is a bit of fun. Every night is not. Claiming to be opting out, while still relying on what others have done is short-term opting out.<br />
<br />
The other problem is that your little property cannot exclude itself from being part of the UK. If, as an example, the locals rivers are managed to not flood, then your property benefits from this work. Similarly, if it does flood, you can rely on the emergency services to assist. If someone is ill, you can take advantage of the NHS. Those aspects of "society" that do not affect us directly and imminently are easy to ignore, but they are still there, still aspects that you are engaged with. If the country is threatened from outside, the government will not point to your smallholding and say "you can invade there, they are opting out" - you are still reliant on the military, however much you might disapprove of them.<br />
<br />
To me, this is the core problem with trying to "opt out". There are some aspects which are comparatively easy to avoid, with some thought and planning. But opting out of "society" is a whole lot harder. I think this is why I don't choose to opt out, rather I choose to be involved and try to change. That is not an implied criticism, just the way that I choose to go.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750148946092155578.post-4514548103783384652016-02-03T11:48:00.000+00:002016-02-03T11:48:21.389+00:00Evangelising England<div data-contents="true">
<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="4l0ue-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="4l0ue-0-0"><span data-text="true">OK, so this was announced last week</span></span><a href="http://www.christiantoday.com/article/archbishops.set.aside.pentecost.2016.in.bid.to.evangelise.england/78216.htm"><span data-offset-key="4l0ue-0-0"><span data-text="true"> Evangelising England.</span></span></a></div>
<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="5ggdj-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="5ggdj-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></div>
<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0"><span data-text="true">To which I let out a resigned sigh. </span></span></div>
<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0"><span data-text="true"> </span></span></div>
<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0"><span data-text="true">To those who don't know me - and probably some of those who do - this may well sound like I have rejected Christianity, and don't want people to get to know Jesus. That could not be further from the truth.</span></span></div>
<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0"><span data-text="true"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0"><span data-text="true">I am a passionate believer that people need to know Jesus, need to engage with the Divine, need to find faith, find spiritual truth and reality that engages them and drives them and fires them on.</span></span></div>
<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0"><span data-text="true"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0"><span data-text="true">I am a passionate believer that we, as Christians, need to talk to others about what we believe, discuss with them, engage with them about faith - ours and theirs.</span></span></div>
<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0"><span data-text="true"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0"><span data-text="true">The reason I sigh is that the Church of England as a system and structure has done so much damage to these conversation over the last few years. The damage has been done mainly with the farce over Women Bishops and the constant and continuing hand-washing over sexuality. The messages that these have sent out - very publicly - are that women are just about tolerated and that anything other than heterosexuality is an abomination to God. The recent suspension of ECUSA over this issue is a clear demonstration of the feeling from the church system.</span></span></div>
<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0"><span data-text="true"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0"><span data-text="true">Now I know that there are many Anglican churches that strongly support women in all roles. There are many churches who are less interested in peoples sexuality than their humanity. The problem is that the general public perception of what Christianity means is set by the more public statements. There is a perception that Christianity is anti-women and anti-homosexuality. This is not helped by some of the more fundamentalist reports coming from the US and (sometimes) supported by people in the UK. The impression given is, although we are very British, and are not going to shout and rave like the Americans do, British Christians are also very much the same.</span></span></div>
<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0"><span data-text="true"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0"><span data-text="true">This statement is likely to have a number of effects:</span></span></div>
<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0"><span data-text="true"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0"><span data-text="true">1. All sorts of money and resources will be poured into ineffective, outdated "evangelism" campaigns.</span></span></div>
<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0"><span data-text="true">2. Some of the larger, more conservative churches will push their agenda again, and there will be embarrassments.</span></span></div>
<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0"><span data-text="true">3. For a few people, in a few places, the negative impressions that the Church of England has given over the last few years will be undone.</span></span></div>
<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0"><span data-text="true"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0"><span data-text="true">Of course, there is a view that not giving total support to any activity that you define as "evangelism" makes the baby Jesus cry. In truth, some of these activities make him cry - both in sadness and laughing.</span></span></div>
<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0"><span data-text="true"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0"><span data-text="true">I am all for evangelism. I am all for telling people the good news. But the starting point today is to undo so much of the damage caused by the Church of England as an organisation. And then it is to engage and listen. And then to change and accept and embrace others, to move to being where they are, to be the presence of God for them.</span></span></div>
<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0"><span data-text="true"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="_45m_ _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0"><span data-text="true">Yes, I am all for evangelism. That is why I sigh at the statement, because I suspect, in many cases, this will put back the work once again.</span></span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="4hlis-0-0"><span data-text="true"><br /></span></span></div>
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</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750148946092155578.post-18657255887310388782016-01-25T20:40:00.000+00:002016-01-25T20:40:00.898+00:00SagaThe <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/disability-34995327">BBC</a> had a discussion about the significance of Saga Noren from the superb Nordic Noir series The Bridge, the third series of which has (as I start writing this) just finished (and has been, once again, utterly superb, disconcerting and shocking). However, I think there are more reasons why Saga has been so significant and popular, that has nothing to do directly with her gender.<br />
<br />
I think one reason she is popular is that she is not the usual autistic character. Actually, as is often pointed out, she does not have an autistic diagnosis, but this seems to be something like what she has. Her problems of engaging with other people and expressing her emotions indicate something of that nature.<br />
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The thing is, she is not the usual autistic savant. We have seen some of these, and they are often well done, good characters. People like The Mentalist, and Sherlock show some of these traits too. Their oddities are usually accepted because they are brilliant at solving problems. Saga is a superb detective, but not on that level, so she is tolerated and accepted for her oddities. In this series, she comes up against someone who is less accepting of her peculiarities.<br />
<br />
But Saga is also very aware of her shortcomings. She knows - has become aware over the series - of those areas she is less than optimal at. She is seen, in this series, to be trying hard at improving her performance in some of these areas. She is a fallible human being, she sometimes makes mistakes, and her character is very hard on herself for making mistakes. <br />
<br />
I think what is so appealing about her is that she is so vulnerable. She faces, in the third series, the reality that she could be perceived as a problem, that her peculiarities may not be fully countered by her skills (which are part of her autism-like nature). She is made to see, to a greater degree than previously, her frailty, and we see her through these eyes too. Unlike the savants, who we sometimes feel need taking down a peg or two, we feel sorry for her, because she is human, she is struggling with a psychological disorder, and at this time, her disability is proving more significant than her talent. That is a very human, very real insight into her. It is a real insight into every persons failings, every persons potential failure.<br />
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For me, the real reason that Saga is popular is that she shows us how vulnerable we are, how odd we might seem, how close to losing it all we all are. I know that I want to give her a hug, because I feel her pain, feel her struggle to comprehend.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750148946092155578.post-47308293755639192542016-01-16T13:06:00.003+00:002016-01-16T13:06:58.093+00:00MusicSince Christmas, we have lost two giants of music - Lemmy and Bowie. There has been an interesting meme on Facebook with the title "This is what you get when you pay for music" with pictures of Lemmy and Bowie, and "This is what you get when you don't pay" with pictures of One Direction and Ed Sheeran.<br />
<br />
Actually, I have to admit, I quite like some of Ed Sheeran's work. But the point is made.<br />
<br />
One of the problems with shows like X-Factor, and The Voice are that they focus on commercial success. I am not one to dismiss commercial success as such, but these days, commercial success is the antithesis of musical freedom and creativity. One of the best x-factor winners - in terms of her vocal ability - was Alexandria Burke. I watched that series, and I loved her voice, but in all of the music that I have heard her record since, there has been nothing of that talent shown. Yes, she has had success, but at the cost of her musical integrity. That is a sad loss. there are suggestions that last years winner, Lousia Johnson has some talent as well, but she is unlikely to do well from being involved. Especially as she failed to get the Christmas Number One. If Simon Cowell cares about anything, it is success, and she has failed to provide him with what he wants.<br />
<br />
I remember when Steve Brookstein had won the first x-Factor, which was a surprise, and the following year he made a comment that "at last I am free of the contract". I was as cynical as most others, that he was apparently "glad" to be free of a £1M contract, the largest that he will probably ever get. Today, I think he may have had a point - having a binding contract to produce Cowell-Musak is only the dream of people who can sing, not of singers.<br />
<br />
When I was younger, in the 1970s/80s, most bands would produce records to sell and make money. That was how they made money, and to do this, they needed a recording contract. There were all sorts of record labels - the independents - who would pick up bands they felt had something and would produce their music for them. Bands would go on tour to promote their record sales, and would often make a loss on the tour, which would be made up for by increased sales.<br />
<br />
All of that has changed - partly for the better, but partly for the worse. Today, getting your music out there is so much easier, with the internet, BandCamp, YouTube and suchlike. However, nobody can make a living making music and selling it any more. The downside is that it is no longer the music that is so important. Musicians can only make money by touring and performing, which means that it is no longer the music that is so crucial as the "performance".<br />
<br />
Now Bowie, in particular, was a performer maybe over anything else. However, I don't think Cowell and his like would embrace that style of performance. It is not just Cowell, it is the majority of the music industry, and Cowell is the public face of this. It is a particular style and form of performance that is expected and needed. I listen to Heart radio on my commute - mainly for the traffic news. I used to listen to Vibe, another local station, with (possibly) better traffic news. The problem is that both of them play a lot of Cowell-Musak, and it is very hard to tell them apart. When you look at them, they all look identical (Maybe the numbers or the hair are different, that is about all). This is the music that makes money, so if you want to make money in the music business, this is what you have to produce.<br />
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As I am writing this, I am listening to a BBC documentary on Bowie, and they have got to the Heroes section. This song - maybe my favourite Bowie song - combines him with Brian Eno and Robert Fripp, two other musical geniuses. I don't think, in the current musical environment, any of these would be able to find a start or a role in the music business.<br />
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That is my problem with the era of "what you get when you don't pay". It will continue to give you what you had last time. Because of this, radical new talent that doesn't fit into the accepted commercial categories has a far more difficult time to get attention and any degree of "success". While success is not the be all of music, if you can't make something out of it, musicians will stop producing.<br />
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We will never see another David Bowie or Lemmie. Not least, this is because people that different would never get a way into the business. In truth, this is the real sadness of the Cowell influence in the music industry. He has destroyed the real creativity in it. That is why the genius of Bowie will not be seen in that business again. Today, such people have to find a new outlet.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750148946092155578.post-1383953860136598832015-12-21T21:31:00.001+00:002015-12-21T21:31:54.621+00:00When do we get to do the stuff?This is one of the most famous quotes from John Wimber. He had read parts of the Bible, what was done in the early church, and went to a church expecting to see the same sort of thing. He was, of course, disappointed, and he asked them "When do we get to do the stuff?".<br />
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I have recently finished reading Sara Miles "Take this Bread", and she experienced something of the same struggle, but from a very different perspective. For her, she read the Bible, saw that Jesus fed people, welcomed people, accepted people. She found the church that she arrived in was generally very welcoming of others, open to different liturgy and worship, but was still struggling to be as accepting as she saw the New Testament church was.<br />
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And it raised the question for me, as for Wimber, of when the church starts doing the stuff. Unlike Wimber "the stuff" is not the miraculous, the amazing - the stuff is the core of the New Testament church. The Stuff is the care, concern, acceptance and love that the church was known for. John 13:35 is a core promise of what the New Testament church was showing - that Christians should be known for their love.<br />
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What I see today is that Christians are known for all sorts of things, but "love" is not high on the list. We are known for being reactionary, for hating homosexuals, for being cliquey, for rejecting others and being legalistic.<br />
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And I know that whenever I say that, there are many people who say that "we are not like that. We know churches who are but not us" to which I would argue that yes you are - to those outside the church you are known for something other than being loving. Almost certainly (there is always a possibility that you are an exception, and I have not heard of you). And even if you are, in your area, the Christian Church as a whole - and that reflects on each one of us - does not have a positive perception.<br />
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Sara Miles church was far more open and accepting than many. She became involved in it because it was prepared to accept her, coming from a very antagonistic position. It was considered by many other churches as being rather tolerant and unconventional. So in terms of churches, it was very much on the forefront of what I am looking for - and yet still struggling to accept, to tolerate and welcome the broken, the damaged, the sick and the disruptive. If they were seen as struggling - from an insider - how much further from a New Testament ideal are most churches?<br />
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A long way.<br />
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I think so many churches like to focus on "outreach" and "programmes" (including Alpha and suchlike), and fail to do the basics about being a fellowship, a group who are caring for each other, working with each other. I don't think a church should focus on itself until it is perfect before looking out. I do think that churches should consider very critically what they are inviting people to join. I think they should ask why people would want to join them, and what it would mean if they did.<br />
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In truth, I don't think that the New Testament church is a model that we should build everything on. I think that is dangerous, because they were working to their own situation. But the church was supposed to be living out the principle of loving others, and that is something that we today need to also demonstrate.<br />
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So come on, when do we get to do the stuff?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750148946092155578.post-7739362097673415642015-12-16T08:39:00.002+00:002015-12-16T08:39:47.118+00:00ZaophobiaTrigger Warning : Suicide <br />
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OK, this is a neologism, a word I have devised from Greek roots, that seems to reflect something of what suicidal feelings are like. Sorry if such a lovely word means something so bleak, but that is the way it goes sometimes. Let me explain how I got there, and why it seems to be an appropriate word.<br />
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The starting point was actually the phobia side - suicidal thoughts are not rational, they are more phobic than anything. I will explore this more later. I started by using the phrase Zoephobia, from the Greek Zoe meaning life, but I realised that this was not quite what I was meaning.<br />
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Zao comes from the same root, but is more of an active phrase, meaning living, not just life. Zoephobia would be a fear of life, whereas Zaophobia is more a fear of living, a problem with the process and the effort of continuing to live.<br />
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Phobia is not really a fear in the traditional sense. It is an anxiety disorder where the dread of the thing is disproportional to the thing itself. Zaophobia is therefore an irrational dread of continuing to live.<br />
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Why is it so important that it is seen as irrational? The prime reason is that an irrational fear cannot be calmed by rational ideas and discussion. I don't like spiders, and I know that my fear of them is not rational. I know that "they are more afraid of me than I am of them" - something that has never been scientifically tested as far as I know. I am aware that they are not out to do me any harm. But this rational, logical argument does nothing for my feelings, my emotive response. What is more, this lack of a rational basis for my emotional response does not make it "all in the mind" or "imaginary". It is very real, but the means of dealing with it is through working with the fears and emotional responses, not by explaining why it is not logical to fear spiders. In truth, I am much better than I was.<br />
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Someone who is suicidal does not need logical, rational explanations of why their choice doesn't make sense. To them, it makes perfect sense (which is partly a result of post-rationalisation), so explaining why they are wrong can sound like explaining that they are stupid. Whereas dealing with it in terms of a phobia, an irrational response, means that you are accepting their conclusions, their thought processes, and deal with it according to an emotive response, not a rational one. Rather than an argument of "no, that is not how it is really", this is a response of "yes, it sucks big time".<br />
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I look at Jesus' responses to people, and sometimes, he comes back with rational, logical, law-based arguments - when people challenge him with rational, law-based arguments. But for people who are hurting, he doesn't - he sits by them and engages with their emotions. The woman caught in adultery, for example: those who wanted to stone her because The Law said so, he responded with a logical reply - none of them conformed to the law completely. But to the woman (who, it would seem, he had stayed by this whole time), he simply told her than nobody was condemning her. As one example among many.<br />
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The healing at the start of John 9 always intrigues me. The disciples wanted a logical, rational explanation for why a particular man was born blind. Jesus response was not a logical or rational response - he didn't give the disciples the reasoning for babies being born blind, he didn't offer then a codified answer to the effects of sin (and bear in mind that the action of sin on people was part of their rational understanding). His response was unbelievably unsatisfactory in so many ways. He explained that this man was born blind so that Jesus could heal him. Which might not make up for the 20 years he had spent blind, or for the unpleasant response he had from the Pharisees. But the man's enthusiasm towards the Pharisees suggests to me that Jesus had engaged him emotionally, even though the rational arguments didn't seem to add up.<br />
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The first part of this word is also important in terms of understanding the suicidal mentality. It tends to be (and I am aware that there are always cases and situations that do not match this) that the struggle of living is where the problem lies. It is the difficulty and the day-to-day effort that is required to continue living that is so hard. The thoughts of having to do that again and again and again is too much. It is hard work living, but for most people, it is something that we can cope with, because that is what we have to do. For many people, spiders are just part of nature, and they are not a problem. But for some, zao is really difficult. The decision to take ones own life is not an easy one, and not a rational, logical one normally. But for many, it comes from this incredible burden of zao, of having to live. It is not rational, but emotive, which is how it should be engaged with, but it is very real, very significant.<br />
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It is also important in terms of understanding how a depressed person acts and behaves.Imaging having a fear of heights, and waking up every day in a bed slung on the side of a cliff. Actually, that is rather extreme, because most people with a sense of perspective would find that a frightening prospect. Imagine always waking up somewhere high up, near a precipice. Or being forced to work as a tower crane operator. You wouldn't do it, of course, it would be a living nightmare, you would have to find an alternative.<br />
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So imagine if your fear was of living.<br />
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I should point out, I am not suggesting that depression is the same pathology as phobias, just that seeing suicidal thoughts in this way might help those who do not suffer from them understand a little more what it means, what it actually feels like to be inside these brains.<br />
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So zaophobia - a new word for suicidal responses, trying to reflect the emotive nature of these feelings, and the importance of responding in the appropriate way.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750148946092155578.post-79904027213842022132015-12-05T11:10:00.000+00:002015-12-05T11:10:37.461+00:00Why trident is a wasteI read on facebook recently a post by Alan Storkey (sorry I can't link because I can't find it any more!) on reasons why replacing trident is a bad idea. They were great thoughts, but one resonated with something I have thought for a while, and for me is the main reason that Trident is a bad idea.<br />
The problem is that Trident - and all nuclear weapons capability - belongs to a different age of warfare. I am not saying that 40 years ago it was valid and acceptable, just that then there were different reasons to challenge it. But the world today is different.<br />
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The major threats on the world stage today are terrorist groups like IS. The majority of the conflicts across the world are not nation-on-nation, as they were for much of the last century, they are faction on faction, organisations like IS who are fighting for recognition and a cause. Groups like Boko Haram in Africa and the drug barons in Mexico are involved in much more typical conflicts today than was the case.<br />
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And, of course, Trident - any nuclear weapon - is of no use against them. How could we use any of them against IS? They do not have a geographical claim, so the use of such weapons - which are indiscriminate across a geographical area - is pointless and dangerous.<br />
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"But we have to have them, to protect ourselves against other nuclear nations". This has been the argument for decades, and yet it is flawed. As noted above, conflicts today are not against other nations. The likelihood of, say, Iran attacking us with a nuclear weapon is extremely remote - they may not like us, but that tactic would be so abhorrent that they would never utilise it. Because they are a geographical nation, they would be destroyed in a range of ways that would not require a nuclear strike back. <br />
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"They are a deterrent against anyone using nuclear weapons against us". The thing is, let us suppose that IS had nuclear capability. Let us suppose, horror of horrors, that the Paris attacks had been nuclear. Would we then use our nuclear weapons against them? Of course not, because they are not a geographically located group. It is groups like IS with nuclear capability that is the biggest danger, but even if they did achieve that, out deterrence would not stop them and out defence would not be appropriate to use. So what is the point?<br />
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I hope against hope that we never see another nuclear weapon deployed. But if it is, it will not be a nation using it against another nation. The response will not be more such weapons. Nations arming themselves with nuclear capability in the 21st century is an anachronism. We would all be safer if we had none of them around.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750148946092155578.post-53610844086025518082015-11-25T19:42:00.001+00:002015-11-25T19:42:31.784+00:00Henri Nouwen"When there is not a community that can mediate between world needs and personal responses, the burden of the world can only be a crushing burden"<br />
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This is quoted from Nouwens "Compassion" in the Spring 2015 issue of Geez magazine (which is superb and you should subscribe to it). It struck me as an interesting quote, and one that made me think - in general, I agree with it, but I want to explore why.<br />
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The implication of this - in context of the magazine - is that the church is, or can be, that mediating community. The problem is, I think, that it does not always do that job particularly well, if at all.<br />
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Firstly, the reason that I agree with the quote is that needs of the world is a crushing burden if we try to take it all on, without help. Anyone who does not suffer from compassion fatigue, from a sense of desperation, from a feeling that it is all too much probably doesn't grasp the scale of the world problems.<br />
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At times, the church can and has been a helpful mediator in this context. It has served to give some sense of meaning or purpose to the apparent random calamity that we see around us. But what of those people who do not have a church, a community to mediate?<br />
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It seems that there are three possible responses without this community:<br />
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1. Find a different community that helps to mediate. Of course, sometimes this is not a positive mediation - sometimes it is mediating by hating people, sometimes it is mediation by cutting off from the world. Sometimes, of course, it is a positive and helpful mediation, but the tragedy of the west is that many are not in any form of community.<br />
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2. Ignore the rest of the world. Resolving the "burden of the world" is done by pretending it doesn't exist, keeping a focus to yourself and those nearby.<br />
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3. Letting the burden of the world crush you. As Nouwen says, this is what happens with no other means to handle it.<br />
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It is an indication, I think, that as people we are not meant to live in a world of the size we are in. Rather, we are not properly adapted to a world of the scale of the current one. We have not learned how to be part of a community of 7Bn people, across the world that is far larger than we can really comprehend. We need a local community to be "our world" who can then help us to grapple with the bigger picture.<br />
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The problem for many people today is, I think, that we do not have a community. We lack the structures that can enable us to be a small world as part of a larger one. While there are many issues that this causes (dissociation, lack of emotional support), I think the one the Nouwen points out does cover a critical aspect - we cannot live in the world, deal with the world, acknowledge the world and its problems without a community.<br />
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Maybe this is why many people dismiss the problems of the world, ignore them, assume they are other peoples issues. Maybe this explains why some people join churches or yoga classes or whatever, because they need to find some context within which to engage with the burden of being human.<br />
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And maybe the church needs to start understanding this.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750148946092155578.post-17723821856995620772015-10-22T11:22:00.001+01:002015-10-22T11:22:44.624+01:00Why Greenbelt is important.As many of you know, I have been going to Greenbelt for the last few years, and I am passionate about the festival. I want to explore here why that is - something that has been brought to focus in the last year with the major financial problems the organisation has had.<br />
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The first reason for my support of it is that it is unique. There are, of course, other events around the country like Spring Harvest and New Wine, as well as Soul Survivor. I do not have a problem with any of these, and did go to Spring Harvest for many many years, which is where my experience of these events comes from. There is a reason that these events are quite different from Greenbelt.<br />
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Spring Harvest is not a festival, but a conference. The difference - at least when I was attending - was that a conference is very structured, with sessions that are clearly timed, meaning that there are clear breaks for mealtimes. In the professional world, these are crucial times for talking to others, chatting, sharing ideas across sub-groups. A conference is very structured, both time-wise and (often) content-wise. When I went, the mornings were a structured set of talks, each group supposedly coving a similar set of ideas, in different ways or from different perspectives.<br />
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More significantly, the evenings were big, all-together events - it was only the later years that an alternative evening celebration developed. Even then, the celebrations had the same themes. I should clarify that the big celebration were fantastic - I loved them, because they were proper celebrations on a large scale. They were times when I felt a member of a big group, a part of something larger than me and mine.<br />
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But Greenbelt is different. The form and structure is different, but - more crucially - the purpose is different. It is not a conference, it is a festival. It is not as regimented - there is all sorts of things going on at different times. It is quite possible for two people to attend and experience completely different festivals. It is quite possible to attend different talks and get opposing or irreconcilable arguments. It is possible to go only for the music, or only for the talks, or only for the Tiny Tea Tent. The only "communal" aspect is the Sunday Morning Communion, and that is, like everything else, optional.<br />
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But it is the purpose that is so crucially different. The purpose of the conferences - Christian or work-style - is to impart information, teach the latest idea. The big draws are often well-known writers and speakers, this is a chance for them to tell people about their latest ideas (and sell more books).<br />
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Greenbelt is different. Well, not entirely - for many of those performing, they are there to sell their merchandise. They are doing the rounds, although the rounds are more likely to be the festivals than the conferences. Greenbelt is there to give people a chance to explore, engage, discuss. Greenbelt is a place where someone can say anything they want. But more importantly, anyone can answer, challenge, debate and argue. You can claim that black is white, and you will find someone to agree with you and someone to disagree. But there is a good chance that you will find these people are prepared to listen as well as argue.<br />
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I think most importantly, the theological position of Greenbelt is different. The conference circuit is on the Conservative Evangelical part of the theological spectrum, whereas Greenbelt is much wider. In its early days, most of the music came from the Evangelical Christian music culture (and the attendees too). While this has changed, this early focus on the arts has remained. It is the only place where the Christian faith and the arts collide in this way, where Christians can have their ideas and understanding challenged by the insights from the arts. It is also a place where those who do not sign up to the Christian faith can explore spiritually with no pressure. Or, of course, just get to experience some great performances.<br />
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This is why Greenbelt is important. The target audience - in terms of what it does, not necessarily the organisation's definition - are those people who are spiritually on the edge. Those who are on the edge of church and churches, for whom the standard route and approach is not one that works. It is for people who want to explore spiritual truth, not be told what they should believe if they want to join in. It is for people who want to understand what faith means when people disagree.<br />
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It is also for those who would explore faith and spirituality that is not book- or word-centred. Given that Jesus never wrote a book (he may well have been illiterate), and that so much of the biblical teaching is done visually (although it is reported to us in words, because smartphones hadn't been invented then), this is a vital aspect of Christian faith.<br />
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It is for those of us for whom living faith is about constant exploration, not formulaic expressions. It is for people who like discussions where their view is changed, and they come away with new insights - not necessarily agreement with others, but a greater understanding of their position. It is for people who can say "I'm sorry" and "I am wrong. Thank you."<br />
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For me, and I know for many others, church does not provide what I need any more. For me, Greenbelt gives me a message that I can still be a Christian, despite all of my doubts, anger, illness and failure. It tells me that I don't have to conform to any particular system or hierarchy to be a Christian. It tells me that I don't have it right, but that I don't have it all wrong either.<br />
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So if you have never been, can I encourage you to consider it, and give it a try. And support it, even if it doesn't work for you, because it is a crucial part of the spiritual life of this country. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750148946092155578.post-54647994670390667072015-09-19T15:44:00.000+01:002015-09-19T15:44:51.503+01:00GreenbeltOK, so what did Greenbelt hold for me this year? Well it was different to recent festivals, mainly because the financial problems from last year changed the nature of the festival. Not necessarily for the worse, but there did feel like it was less exuberant than it has been. Maybe that is a good thing, in truth.<br />
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Well, Friday evening was enjoyable - the Worry Dolls and Rosalind Peters were pleasant and enjoyable, and a good start - I don't normally do the comedy gigs, so it was a nice change to start with some.<br />
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The main stage for me properly started with The Polyphonic Spree - interesting performance. The music was - to my mind - nothing special. The performance was fabulous, which is (again, in my view) the real point of music at a festival. So enjoyable, crazy, weird and fun. Which could also be used to describe one of my festival highlights, Acrojou. Their performance of Frantic was pleasurable, brilliantly performed, a real positive performance, and one I was really glad to go to.<br />
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Sunday had the communion, which was, unusually for me, a really positive event. It is always nice to share communion with friends at this festival, and this was not as interrupted as sometimes. The end of the day was highlighted by The Unthanks, a beautiful folk-influenced group, marred slightly by the fact that I experienced a very odd deja-vu (genuine deja-vu, not that I have seen them before). If you want a treat, do check out their "Magpie".<br />
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Speakers - I did hear some talks as well. Marika Rose talking on "Angels and Cyborgs" - she is always good, focussed and clear. Also the always excellent Katherine Welby-Roberts, struggling to do her talk, because doing such things is very difficult for her. The reality of what her illnesses mean was shown clearly. And, as always, she spoke from the heart and with honestly and openness.<br />
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There was a literary aspect to my festival too - I heard A L Kennedy after a recommendation, and she was very useful discussing aspects of "how to write stuff". Later the same day I heard Stephen Oram discussing "opting out". It was interesting, drawing on his latest book, and I will blog some of my reservations and thoughts on this later.<br />
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There was a theme to some of my other picks - Grace Petrie was brilliant as always; Gaz Brookfield was a new name for me, but one whose angry passion about real music, people, life was fantastic. Like Grace, but angrier and more aggressive. I remember him being very passionate about "real" music, not the manufactured drivel from Simon Cowell and the like.<br />
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And the last act I saw in the weekend was Jonny and the Baptists. This is a duo, whose comedy act was described as "post-watershed" material - that was accurate, as their first piece was about having sex in libraries to make them more interesting. It continued in a similarly adult vein, but was excellent, hilarious, and a great way to finish my festival. The theme between them all was a distinctly left-wing approach, a criticism of the current administration and the damage it is doing to people.<br />
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In the end, this is the ongoing theme of the festival for me - people who have problems with the government, not because of political differences, but because people are suffering from the decisions made, the pain and suffering imposed on people. As I write the refugee crisis is in the news, because the denial of these peoples human rights has meant that people have died, children included. One picture has made a difference, but if we had responded earlier, maybe this child could have lived.<br />
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Greenbelt reminds me that there are Christians - many of them, and an important section of them - who believe that abuse and damage to people is wrong, who believe that the biblical injunctions to help others, the poor and the needy, are the prime commandments of the Bible. That always gives me some hope.<br />
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There was one other encounter that struck me. I was taking a look at the Quaker stand - just seeing what there was, what they were about. I have always thought that the Quaker approach may be the closest to mine, albeit with a different style (I am probably a bit noisy for them, but the principles and ideas I find a lot in common with). As I was about to leave, one of the people on the stand, said nothing but handed me a booklet. There was something about the quiet, unassuming way that he did this, trying to help, without words, that struck me. There was something of what I understand of the Quaker way about it. Given how most other stalls were tempting with chocolate, or desperate to attract visitors, this was - for me - a much better approach. So I would like to say thank you.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750148946092155578.post-86059698460563356662015-09-10T21:44:00.001+01:002015-09-10T21:44:40.433+01:00Budget changesIn the budget (several months ago now) there was one that has not apparently attracted much attention. It is the proposal to remove tax relief from Buy-to-Let (BTL) mortgages. I am sure that some people consider that these greedy rich, landlord should have tax reliefs stripped from them and serve them right.<br />
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Except, that is not what will happen. I speak as a landlord with a BTL mortgage (but I hope not a particularly Dickensian landlord).<br />
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Let me be clear, I have one property, currently let out. I operate it on a business, balancing income and expenditure, actually charging rent at a level based on what I need to cover my expenses (and so, for your information, less than I could be charging).<br />
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So what will the impact of these changes actually be? Well, for most landlords in this situation, they will have to balance their books still, and so will increase their rents. The first effect of this change will be to increase rents (slowly, as the change is being phased in, so it will probably not be noticed as a direct result). Of course, that hits tenants, not landlords. So many are already priced out of certain areas, and this will just get worse.<br />
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I should point out that this is not what I am planning to do. <br />
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The other impact is that people like me will not find it financially viable to be landlords. It means that I could consider getting out of the market, selling my property and removing one more place available for rental. The people who will be able to stay in the landlord market are those who do not need so much of a mortgage on the properties - that is, those who have some ready cash. It will play into the hands of the wealthy, who are not necessarily interested in being landlords for the benefit of the tenants, but for the money.<br />
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That is also not what I am intending to do.<br />
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I am intending to reorganise my finances to pay off my mortgages early. I am attempting to take myself out of this particular market (something that I was expecting to do eventually, but I might try to do this early). I am getting out of the BTL market but without selling the property. I am fortunate to be able to do this, but 10 years ago, and I would not have entered the market at all. That is the problem.<br />
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So yes, this proposal will hit some greedy landlords. But mostly, it will hit smaller landlords, and tenants. To those who need rental properties, this is bad news. As usual, the wealthy will just handle it, and the less well off will suffer and pay<br />
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So maybe you shouldn't be celebrating. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750148946092155578.post-39604712992540055822015-09-02T19:36:00.000+01:002015-09-02T19:36:05.334+01:00The House of LordsI went on a visit to the House of Lords recently, as a guest of the Bishop of St Albans. It was an interesting visit, and provided some interesting insight into the place and the workings of that house.<br />
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The place itself is quite something - very elegant and ornate, quite a spectacular and beautiful building. You can walk along corridors with the most ornate carvings and paintings. It is a place that should inspire awe and a sense of responsibility. To an extent, I think it does. To a large extent, those who occupy the privileged seats in the house do realise what a responsibility they have. Certain recent news stories excepted.<br />
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I think that many of the Lords work hard - being involved in the processes, discussing and questioning. There were a number of members there who were doing their job well, asking and getting the answers, being present for the discussion of items that they have skills in. In particular, the bishops who work there combine their other work with attendance and involvement in the work there. Others combine other work with attendance and involvement there.<br />
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The problem I have is deeper rooted than that. The fact that some of those involved are good, honest and hard-working, while others may not be does not change the fact that the process seems to be wrong and broken. The part we saw - questions to the government - was a chance to raise questions, but they were answered by rote, and there is a limit to the questions and the time to discuss.<br />
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The problem I see is that it is a slow and compromise-driven approach to making laws does not seem to produce good and timely laws. There is a whole lot of debate and discussion over each word and phrase of the law to make sure it is clear and represents the views of the house. This is to ensure that lawyers cannot then untangle it, find loopholes through the legal phrasing. But this does not necessarily make for good laws, because the focus in on the minutiae, not the big picture. It seems to me that these people - the people we have chosen as the best in our society - should be focussing on the big picture. It seems that lawyers should be able to draft the phrasing, based on what the intention of the lords is. It seems that these lawyers should also be able to clarify the meaning of the legal position where needed.<br />
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Well, maybe not - this is not completely thought out. But is this the best use of their time? Is it right that (for example) our bishops, selected for their spiritual leadership, their insight and discernment. Their time in the lords is spent trying to identify potential loopholes in legal documents. The time we watched proceedings was worthwhile, but this was half an hour - the rest of the session (potentially late into the evening) would be picking apart a bill.<br />
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So yes, the visit was very interesting, and thanks to Bishop Alan for the opportunity. It is always fascinating to see how these institutions function, to observe the practicalities of the business. But in seeing these institutions at work, their archaic nature is sometimes shown up. I think <a href="http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2015/jul/25/mhairi-black-criticises-westminsters-outdated-traditions-snp">Mhairi Black</a> is absolutely right that the institution is, in some ways, outdated, not least the need to vote in person, not electronically. There is a definite need to update, to make the chambers work in a more modern way. There is a need to The problem is, we often see this way as being the definition of "democracy". The truth is that this is one was of running a legislative house - there are others, and others might be better. The wonderful, historical building should not mean that the functions within it should be as archaic. We can have a modern legislature in a wonderful old building.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750148946092155578.post-49330338907544671072015-08-25T21:08:00.001+01:002015-08-25T21:08:49.651+01:00DepressionOK, I thought there is a place to put my thoughts together on what this actually means. Some of these have been written elsewhere, but it is a personal perspective.<br />
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1. Don't ask "why are you depressed?" It is a meaningless question. Why do you have a cold? Why do you have poor taste in clothing? For me, there is probably a genetic disposition, and there have been events that have knocked my brain into a different state. None of which answers "why?" to me or to anyone else. I wish I knew, because I could then sort it out. But it is not a rational decision or choice. It is an illness, an aspect of my broken body.<br />
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2. "A depressive" vs "have depression". My son has diabetes, and I was once told off for saying that he was "a diabetic", because that shouldn't define him. Rather, I should say that he has diabetes. While it is true that his illness doesn't entirely define him, something that should involve testing and injecting 4-5 times a day, avoiding sugary food and drink, and meaning he cannot walk as well as he could does pretty well define his life and activity. It is an all-encompassing aspect of him, 24/7, and something he cannot get away from.<br />
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In the same way, for example, that I am a Christian. It is not something that just impacts me some of the time - it is not just about what I do on Sundays. My faith is an integral part of me every day, in all I do. I cannot escape it for a while, and I do not expect to ever grow out of it: even if I do, its reality over so much of my life is permanent. And the same is true of my depression, in a more negative way. It is permanent, it is always an aspect of my life, and I do not expect to leave it behind permanently. So I am a depressive. I am a Christian. I am a parent. None of these totally defines me, but they are quite fundamentally part of who I am. Rewording it does not help.<br />
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3. You cannot recognise a depressive. It is easy to assume that the grumpy, miserable person at work is most likely to be depressed. You may well be wrong - they might just be a grumpy, miserable person with poor social skills (in my business, that is quite likely). If you want to find the depressed person at work, look for the lively one, the chatty one, the one who is always joking. They are as likely to be suffering from depression at any particular time. Many people manage their illness well, and are not obviously "depressed", but that does not mean that they are not suffering. Very many depressives cannot talk about their feelings, their illness, how they are at any particular time. Just because someone appears fine, or says they are fine, doesn't mean diddly squat.<br />
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4. Sometimes, depression means that I feel miserable. Sometimes, it means that I have to struggle to get out of bed in the morning. Other times, it means that I am out of bed easily in the morning, because I haven't slept well, and am awake early. Always, it means that the basics of life are a struggle. Always, every day. Much of the time, I have coping mechanisms and the medication help to enable me to get through the day. But "getting through the day" does not mean that I am not struggling through it all. The fact that I am high functioning" means that I can achieve some things that others cannot - working and studying for a PhD at the same time. But that does not mean that getting up and going out for a walk is not a huge burden at times.<br />
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5. Suicidal thoughts and feelings are a constant companion. Now before you call the doctor, this does not mean that I am suicidal all of the time. It means that the nagging thoughts and ideas are always there. Sometimes, in all honesty, they are welcome thoughts, because life seems to be too much. But mostly, they are annoying distractions making me struggle even more with life. I live with thoughts in my mind that many others would find extremely upsetting. I am numb to them, but it doesn't mean they are not still distracting, tempting. It is just another thing that some of us have to deal with constantly.<br />
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6. Yes, it is a real illness. Just because you cannot see anything wrong, doesn't mean it is "all in my mind". Well it is, but not in the sense of being made up. I realise that there is nothing physical that you can see, but that does not mean that it is not real. It is real, and it is disabling, because it breaks my ability to think straight and clearly. This impacts my ability to do anything. People who assume it is not a "real" illness tend to be people who don't suffer from mental illness. Just because it is not visible, just because it is not clearly and fully understood does not mean it is not real.<br />
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7. I am sorry if you don't like this, but there is no cure for many mental illnesses. There are treatments, and these are effective and important. Treatments help us to cope with life with a mental illness, and sometimes they enable us to live and cope while the brain cures itself. There are forms of treatment like CBT can change our way of thinking, but these are also life-long treatments - the fact that they are not pills does not really make a difference.<br />
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I have said it before, but God does not heal most mental illnesses most of the time. This is not to either deny that He might on occasions, but that the answers to mental illness are not to be prayed about and that is it. Prayer does help, mainly because events do cause problems, and prayer for help through these times helps and is important. I would LOVE God to cure me of my depression. However, I don't expect it, because it is far more complex, it is intimately engaged with who I am. God made me like this, and to take it away would change who I am - the good as well as the bad.<br />
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8. "You would feel better if you lost some weight". Or whatever. Yes, I know. Of course, the reason I have a weight problem is that I eat when I am depressed. So going on a diet might make me feel better in the longer term, but in the shorter term, I will struggle to cope. For others, it is the same story, but sometimes with other problems. We do have a tendency to do things that are not good for us, and we know about it. The think is, if I ate less, and my depression was better, I would be better.<br />
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9. I am not dangerous. Well, I could be if I hear too much rubbish about mental health problems and the people who suffer from them. There are some important statistics to understand: some one in three people suffer from mental health problems. This means that one could expect one in three people involved in violent crime would have mental health problems. In fact, there are all sorts of reasons why this figures is higher, but connection does not imply causality - or not necessarily in the direction indicated.<br />
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In truth, people with mental health problems are often involved in crimes and violent crimes especially, mainly because the support services for those with mental health issues often end up failing the suffering. But the idea that people with mental health problems are inherently dangerous is wrong. We are not, as a whole. Of course, there is a strong argument that some of the most psychotic, violent crimes are indications of mental health problems. But that is not an indication that people with mental health are inherently dangerous.<br />
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So this is what I live with every day. This and more, and I fight through it, and live a reasonably normal life. So, of course, when I can do no more, I am just lazy, using my illness as an excuse. Sigh.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1