Back to Church Sunday

Some time ago, when I said that I believed that I wanted to focus on those who were leaving the church, or had left, I was told that "We don't want to be seen as poaching from others churches - we want to focus on bringing new people into the church". I was - and remain - unconvinced.

Of course, focusing on bringing new people in, rather than working with those who might want to leave, is much easier. You don't have to deal with the reasons that people leave, the problems that people have with church. "New" people don't have all the knowledge and hangups of people who are dissatisfied with church.

And then we have "Back to Church Sunday", a concept that is misguided in several ways. Firstly, there is the idea that people who have stopped going to church might want to try it again. By naming it a Sunday, of course, it removes any need to consider why people might have stopped going. Yes, some people leave because they just drift away, but many people these days leave through deliberate choice. And if people just drift away, that itself is an indication that they no longer find anything to keep them there.

Of course, having a single Sunday with a name means that all of this can be ignored.

 There is also a strange focus on church, not on God or faith. The fact that people may be engaging with God more outside church is ignored. The fact that people may wish to focus on a relationship with God rather than going to church is ignored.

I have heard that it should be called "Back to God Sunday", but, of course, for so many, this is considered the same thing. For many people, returning to God is not something that is done on a random, nominated Sunday. for many, the church has so hurt and damaged them, has so destroyed their relationship with God, that it will take years to find that and build it again.

Naming a single Sunday like this trivialises the pain and anguish that so many people have in leaving the church, and that the church had done to them. It makes an assumption that returning to church is like returning to a social club, or a knitting circle. It puts church - and a relationship with God - on a level with a book club.

And that is wrong.

The third problem is that church so often put on something special for this Sunday. Something that is intended to appeal to those returning for whatever reason. Now in my experience, churches are astoundingly bad at doing this. Actually, they are very good at doing the odd and peculiar things that church do, at performing the strange ceremonies that happen. What they are unbelievably bad at is making this in any way comprehensible or attractive to those outside.

What is more, should anyone decide to return to attending church on the basis of events put on for this Sunday, one presumes that they will return next Sunday, and remember all of the reasons that they stopped going.

Back to Church Sunday? A good candidate for worst idea from the church ever. And there are a lot of good competitors in this category.

Mental Illness

There has been an interesting flurry of activity in the last few days about mental illness. It was sparked off by Asda offering a fancy dress costume.

As someone who has a mental illness - depression - this was rather offensive. The image being given was that mental illness means psychopathic killer. We are not - some of us actually hold down proper jobs, live a full life, and control any urges we might have to kill other people, at least most of the time.

However, what has been more interesting is the response that has generated on twitter. Firstly, the outcry was sufficient to get Asda - and Tesco - to withdraw these costumes and apologise. But more importntly, today there has been a whole lot of responses using the #mentalpatient hashtag, with people posting pictures of themselves dressed as mental patients. That is, in their ordinary clothes, exactly as they normally are.

I have seen one question raised - why is it that getting kids to dress up as a mental patient promotes such ire, but dressing up as a serial killer is acceptable? Well actually I don't entirely think it is. Celebrating the mythological creatures of evil is one thing, and I know a lot of people have issues with this, but I do think that celebrating modern day killers, or celebrating outmoded stereotypes of mental illness is not acceptable.

There is a bigger problem here. The problem is one of perception of mental illness in our society. The mentally ill are seen as being dangerous - the image of the mentally ill as serial killers is subtly reflected in many peoples perceptions of the mentally ill. The truth is that one in three people will suffer from mental illness in their life. That means that everyone - every single person - will be affected by mental illness.

And yet many people are still scared of the phrase "mental illness", taking an assumption that those suffering from mental illness are dangerous to themselves and others. The reality is that a few are - although mostly this is only an issue when medication is failing. The mentally ill can be difficult or unpredictable at times, but then so can those without diagnosed problems. The vast majority of those with mental illnesses are quite capable of appearing to be perfectly normal people. As the #mentalpatient tag has shown.

The perception of mental illness has to change. Too many people are hurt by the negative image that it has in the public mind. I can only hope that the result of this is that we learn to see mental illness where it is - all around us, everywhere.

Serum

The group at Greenbelt who I found most engagement with was a series of discussions by Serum. They are open discussions, on a variety of important topics and areas, without an expectation of the Christian faith as a starting point. In fact, they are discussions on faith-like issues without any assumptions to start from.

Which I found very refreshing.

This is one aspect of what I think church should be like. Open and frank discussions and explorations of spiritual matters, working though our faith with other people, challenging it, seeing how it works for other people. My faith is improved by being honed with others who don't agree with me.

Many people in churches - clergy included - seem to run scared at this sort of open and challenging discussion. There is an idea that by exposing our faith to challenge and critique, we will probably lose our faith - so it is far safer not to expose church people to this sort of thing. I have also heard, far too often, that "people may ask questions I don't know the answer to". That is the point, sort of - it is about exploring our faith, finding the areas we don't know about, and seeing if anyone else can help you work out a direction.

But I also ask, what are the churches doing, that people are so scared? How come these people can be in a church for 30 years, and still have absolutely no idea what they believe? How can you go to church for 30 years and not be able to discuss and explore the Christian faith with other people?

How come people go to church for 30 years and have no real faith? They have routine, they know what to do how to behave, they have process, but faith? If it cannot cope with some debate and discussion, is it faith, or just ritual?

Questions - which is what Serum is about - are the lifeblood of faith. Not answers, which is what so many church Q&A sessions are about, but questions, and the exploration of what they mean.

That is difficult, that is faith, that is fun!

The secret Diary of a Call Girl

I have been watching this on Lovefilm recently, and have been intrigued and surprised by it. I had caught clips and trailers for it when it was on TV, but only part of episodes, inconsistently.

I had expected it would be sleazy and sordid, but was pleasantly surprised - it is definitely justifying its 18 rating, but it is also humerous and insightful. In its way.

It is, for those who don't know, the televised version of the diaries of a genuine escort, who worked as a prostitute for a few years when she didn't really know what else to do. In honestly, it does rather glamourise the world, not least by staying in the high end market only. I am in no doubt that it does not entirely reflect the business, and it probably rather over-glamourises the top end of the market. But there are a couple of important aspects that it demonstrates.

Firstly, it identifies a distinction between sex and relationships. In fact, at least one series is all around this very issue. Can a prostitute have a relationship? Well, according to the story shown, the answer is yes, although it does require the right sort of man, one who can separate the relationship from the job. Yes, sex is part of the relationship, but, for some men at least, there is more to a relationship than this, so for Belle to be continuing to have sex for money is not a problem.

I think this is a rather more positive approach to both relationships and sex than the one normally taught by the church. I am not suggesting that prostitution should be a career of choice for Christians, but I do thing that the focus on "get married so that you can have sex" demeans both. A loving relationship, that might include marriage, will tend to include sex. But - and I am sorry if this is shocking to you - embarking on a life-long relationship just to have sex seems rather drastic. Embarking on a relationship because you want to stay together for life seems like a far better reason and justification.

Secondly, one of the recurring themes is loneliness. This is twofold - Belle is having lots of sex and enjoying her work, but is still very lonely - there are very few people she can talk to about her work, and about why she does not have a boyfriend. Despite being an outgoing, likeable person, she is desperately lonely. I think that this is probably not just about her particular line of work. I suspect that there are many people who cannot talk about their problems, their lives, their failures as Christians with anyone, because there is no-one who would understand.

How many Christians cannot talk about their doubts and worries, because they don't want to be seen as losing their faith? Or men (especially) about their work challenges, because they do not want to be seen as weak to their colleagues, the only people who might actually understand their problems? Or people struggling with mental illness, who cannot talk because so many people are scared or prejudiced about mental illness?

The other side, which is the same coin, is how many of Belles clients are lonely. In many cases, the sex is just the justification for the meeting. They are actually lonely, want someone they can talk to about anything - as Belle says a number of times, her clients can talk about anything, in complete confidence. Maybe high class escorts are the new confessional priests.

Maybe it it time that Christians stopped being so judgmental, and started behaving like Belle - being prepared to listen to people, and accept whatever they have to say. If anyone does want to talk, please get in touch (boredwithchurch@gmail.com), because, while I may not be a prostitute, I try not to judge.

Links for my writing

I have published three works so far. This post is simply to provide a central place to contain all of the links for all of my writing. Note that I tend to write my science fiction under the name Schroedinger. They are usually available as both e-books and printed copies, published by Lulu, and so available from there as ePub and print, as well as on kindle from Amazon.

The ePub reader, if you do not already have one, is a simple download from the Lulu site. Alternatively, a kindle reader is available from Amazon to download onto a computer. Both of these readers are free. They are not available for the Nook, because of problems I have had with the Barnes and Noble site.

They will also be available in print format from Amazon, and iBookstore format should that be your preference. There are probably other places too, that they don't tell me about.

My first short story is called Bubbles, and is available across all of the platforms. It is a story about Michael, who wakes up to a nightmare beyond his wildest imaginings, and a whole lot of new possibilities and challenges.



 Available as ePub and as hard copy from Lulu, and on Kindle across the world - these are the links for the UK and the US.

My second story is Ideocide, a full length novel about - well, you will have to read it to find out. But it is about the death of ideas, the process of challenging and rediscovering beliefs. It is split into three parts - Deicide, Infanticide and Suicide. And yes, it is quite hard hitting in parts.


It is available as an ePub, and as a hard copy from Lulu. It is available in Kindle in your own country, including the US and the UK.



The latest work is the start of a collection of short stories, provided on kindle only - in the uk, but available in all countries. I wanted to make this free, but there is a problem with making kindle books free, so I am doing promotions on it instead, so it will be free each Saturday that I can make it so. I will add any other stories I produce to this collection.

Grace Petrie

One of my highlights and new discoveries at Greenbelt this year was the singer Grace Petrie. Her performance was excellent, and really enjoyable. But there was another reason why I was impressed.

She is a protest singer, in the style of Billy Bragg and the like. Well actually, there is no real "the like", which is the problem. We do not have any real political protest singers today, who are well known enough to get played and so get their message out to many people. Grace is not quite there yet, but nearly, having had some exposure on BBC 6 Music. Her message is one that we all need to hear, because music - like comedy - is a good way to spread a message.

On my first evening at Greenbelt, I spoke to a couple of people and one question came up which was "why are there no controversial political speakers at Greenbelt? Which there were not really, although there have been in the past. As we discussed, one of the problems is finding the people who are making spiritual political statements - and there are none. After that discussion, it was good to hear that there are those making their political mark - and those who are prepared to appear at a spiritual gathering like Greenbelt.

She is an engaging person, someone who is clearly passionate about what she says and does. She also does love songs, but not lovely sweet ones, of course. She has her head screwed on, is not an idealist, which makes her protest songs even better, because they are not dreaming of a supposed ideal - she is quite realistic about life. But she is angry and hurt, and that comes over in her music.

Anyway - that is enough - check her out, listen to her, go and see her, support her, partly because we need her voice in this country, but also because she is good, entertaining and fun.

Today, it is comedians who speak the truth

This is another quote from Milton Jones at greenbelt, who was quoting someone else, and I am now going to try to remember this quote. Please, do not blame anyone else for this!

The quote was, roughly, that since Life of Brian, people have trusted comedians to bring them truth, not clergy or the church. I though this was an interesting idea, and one with a whole lot of truth.

I think this is actually a much older tradition, going back to the court jesters or fools. The fool had an important and complex role in court, which was not just to provide entertainment, but to say whatever needed to be said. Most rulers would have advisors who would all have political alliances and intentions, and would also be trying to curry favour with the ruler.

The role of the fool was to say those things that the ruler needed to hear, but no-one else would be prepared to say. The fool would be the one who could tell the ruler that one of his advisers was compromised, or not telling the truth, or tell the ruler that a plan of theirs was rubbish. In principle, the fool could not be punished for telling the truth - although it was a risky role, as truth telling is always risky.

Today, some of the comedians on the market serve a similar role - Have Got News For You is a prime example, when it does things well. There is nothing sacred, nothing that cannot have fun and ridicule poked at it. It is not the only one, of course - Mock the Week is another example. There are those who find these programs far too negative and critical, who have a problem that religion, for example, is not sacred, or God. But religion is just as in need of a jester as the political world.

On the one hand, we should celebrate that comedians are providing that role, that someone is able to hold the politicians to account, whether in Westminster or Lambeth.Comedians speak powerfully to people, and are respected, so their critiques of political actions are listened to, often more than other political commentators.

On the other hand, this does mean that is comedians are the ones speaking the truth, we should also work to see that they are held to account, that their critiques are as addressing the right topics, and all of the topics. And we should learn how to use comedy properly to convey a Christian critique of politics and religion. That does not mean telling jokes at the start of a sermon. It means acknowledging that that place that truth is heard is in the comedy clubs, not the churches.

And so we should be praying for Milton Jones and other Christians in the world of comedy, because they are front line prophets. They have a power over public opinion that politicians and clergy can only dream of. We should pray that they use that power well.