Desires

An article in The Guardian caused a lot of online activity recently, mainly with misunderstanding of what was actually being said. However, I want to discuss something else first.

Just before Christmas, my twitter timeline was getting full of people reacting strongly to a show "15 Stone Babies" on  Channel 4. So when I saw it was repeated, I thought it might prove intriguing to watch.

Disturbing is more like it. It dealt with a few people who are "Adult Babies" - they are adults, but they enjoy being treated like babies - dressed up, wearing nappies, being changed, sleeping in a cot, playing baby games.I should point out that, despite the reference to the article above, these people are not pedophiles, they are not sexually attracted to children or babies, and, for many, there is nothing sexual in their behaviour. There is absolutely no suggestion that these people are doing anything illegal or morally wrong.

The problem is that, in the program, many of them did appear to be seeking to evade the adult world, at least temporarily.While I accept that these people do not feel like they have a problem, I think they could do with some emotional counselling, because they are, on appearance, emotionally misplaced. I don't have a problem with what they do, I just think that, on presentation, it appears to be something they might need to get help for.

The Guardian article was arguing - gently - for something that John Bell talked about at Greenbelt in 2011. It was arguing that pedophilia is a sexual orientation, and should be treated as such. This has a number of important implications.

Firstly, and most critically, if it is a sexual orientation, then it cannot be changed. No more than homosexuality can be changed, and there have been enough attempts to do this, none of which have been successful. A persons sexual orientation would appear to be something that they are stuck with for life, although this does not mean that people have to live their life in accordance with their orientation.

Secondly, accepting that pedophilia is a sexual orientation, not a perverse and sick intention on the part of the perpetrator, means that there is a possibility of accepting these feelings and admitting to them. The problem is that someone who has these feelings cannot at the moment get any help, and is liable to simply be rejected and spurned. Until they commit a crime there is no help available, and then the only treatment was jail. Surely it would be far better if people could admit to this and get some help. If people who felt these urges could get help, then maybe less children would be abused and damaged - and if this is not the aim, then what is?

Thirdly, if it is accepted as an orientation, and people could admit to it, then those about them who care for them could assist in helping them to avoid difficult situations - not unlike an alcoholic, who can be helped by their friends to avoid places where they are tempted to drink. The current demonisation of pedophiles means that they don't admit to their feelings, and so are not helped to avoid problematic situations.

Just to make this clear, if we accept pedophilia as a sexual orientation - more, if we accept pedophiles as people who have a sexual orientation that is difficult - then we can work with them to avoid putting them in charge of young people (how many of those working with young people are pedophiles who have never offended or been caught? We have no idea), and we can help them in situations that they find themselves. Treating them as human means that we respect then as people, and seek to help them develop and grow an humans.

I should clarify a couple of points here. I am NOT suggesting that accepting pedophilia is a sexual orientation means that we accept it as reasonable and normal. It is not, and sexual abuse of young children is not "acceptable" in any sense at all. That is part of the point - accepting it is about providing support, help and control. It is not about deeming it acceptable.

Secondly, I am not arguing for Pedophile Rights, for a slow progress towards permitting it, making it normal, looking at pedophile marriage. This is not the aim not the goal. The goal is that someone who has these sexual feelings for young children could admit it to someone in confidence, and could then get help and assistance in dealing with it. It is about treating pedophiles as human.

Because Jesus was all about taking the demonised, taking the outcasts, taking the rejected people and treating them as human beings. And by treating them as human beings, he changed them,and made them less of a threat. That is worth working towards.