I have been watching "Grays Anatomy" - the TV series, not a film of the medical book (that would be so boring). One of the comments that the characters often make is that someone is "my person", by which they mean the person they go to tell everything to, that they go to in times of difficulty, and who offers them advice. This is their "person".
wonder if we all need a "person". Someone who can help us in difficult
times. They are not our partner, because sometimes we need to talk about
our partner. It cannot be your pastor, because you might need to talk
about church. It needs to be someone who understands all that we do and
go through, but is not in charge, is not intimately involved in any of
That is difficult - someone who has enough
involvement, but not too much. but in truth, I think very few of us do
have people who we can talk to like this, which is sad. I also think
there are very few of us who are prepared to do this -- listen without
judgement, being prepared to offer our advice without fuss, to support
people whatever their decisions. To be there for people whatever their
route in life. To be someones person.
And yet, the more
I hear and see, the more I think this is very needed. A place to be, to
talk unreservedly. A place to say ""I think my marriage is breaking
up", or "I don't know if I believe anymore", or "I don't want to go on
living". And a person who can offer thoughts and insights - not
patronising drivel, but an honest consideration of your problems. Who
will help you work through your problems and decide what to do. Who can
make suggestions, tell you to stop being ridiculous - yes sometimes
aggressive responses are needed - and most of all, someone who will say
"Do what you have to do, and I am here for you, whatever."
experience has largely been that most people who will say "We will help
you through your problems" tend to include an "as long as ...." with
this. So "We will help you work out your faith issues, as long as you
stay in the church," or "I will talk to you, but you need to see a
doctor, or I can do nothing." But we need people who will say "I think
you should stay in the church, but I am here for you whatever," and "You
should try and work our your relationships issues, and stop sleeping
with your mistress, but I am with you however it turns out."
friends. People who will talk and listen and suggest and cajole, but
never leave you. That would be exceptional. That would be special. that
would be Christian.