Safe places

Safe places - what are they, and where can we find them, if at all? I have seen enough people commenting that they want or need one.

I would define a safe place as somewhere that you can be accepted, talk about all sorts, and not be judged. Somewhere you can be accepted for who you are. At the least, somewhere that you can be honest about problems, doubts, concerns around a particular issue.

I am a member of two private discussion boards - private meaning that they are by invite only, and the conversations on them are not publicly visible or searchable. This provides something of a safe place - one is Waving not Drowning, part of the Ship of Fools discussion boards, where people who suffer from mental illnesses can be open and talk about their problems among others who understand at least partly. And people who know that they do not understand completely. This understanding - and understanding of a lack of understanding is critical to being a safe place.

The other one is The Lasting Supper, a discussion community for those deconstructing - and reconstructing - their faith. Once again, it is a place where all sorts come, and where members understand the pain of leaving a church, or needing to reassess their faith.

Both of these are reasonably safe places. But they are also online locations, with no physical connection - at least, I do occasionally meet with others from the Waving board, but many members do not, because they are physically too far away.

So are there any physical safe places? Well church should be a safe place, some say. I know that some people find church a safe place for them, which is good. However if you try to challenge or criticise the accepted theological position. Within any church, there are those who are safe, and those who do not feel safe, for whatever reason. Simplistically - and not critically - church is a safe place for those who fit, and not for those who don't.


And yet people like me - people who don't fit - need a safe place. Not a comfy place necessarily, not an easy place, but a place where I - and others like me - can be open and discuss doubts, problems, concerns. That is something I still long for. If anyone wants to explore such matters with me, please get in touch - my email.