What if I am wrong?

As someone who questions my faith and the systems around it, and challenges others on it, there is one question that I must continually ask:

What if I am wrong? What if some of those I criticise are right?

I should point out that I fully accept the possibility that I might be wrong on some matters. In fact, I would state categorically that I am wrong on some matters that I believe, some aspects of my faith. The problem is, I don't at this point know which.

The question is more poignant is I turn it round and ask, what if others are right? What if some of those I criticise are right, and hearing the word of God, and I have got it wrong? I have to consider that possibility, and I want to in two specific contexts.


Firstly, what if groups like WBC are right, and they are the only ones hearing Gods work for the nation and the world correctly? It doesn't need to be them specifically, there are plenty of other similar groups, but I will take Westboro as a particularly extreme example.

My response there is that if they are right about the nature of God, then I don't want to know their God. An eternity separated from a God like theirs seems like a far more pleasant experience than an eternity in his presence. If they are correct, then I am condemned to hell for all eternity, and that is life, but I will have done more to help and support other people in this life, more to help others see some form of light that WBC ever will. It may be wrong, but I would rather live a life outside their particular version of salvation. My life, and that of those I encounter will be better than the life of those within WBC, and I am content that I will therefore have made a positive difference to people.

A God who is in the image of the WBC crowd is not one I would give half a minute to. If he is real, then a capricious God like that doesn't deserve me. There is nothing I could do to earn salvation under a God that vile, hate-filled and dualism (in the sense of rejecting the physical world in favor of the spiritual). That is not a God I could worship, so I will not. If they are right - and this applies to a wide range of hate-filled forms of Christianity - then I am not interested.


The second question is, what if the churches I have rejected are right, that I should not bother my head about stuff, just sit in the congregation and be a good boy? This could be the right answer for me, and my rebellion in leaving the church is wrong, is going against Gods will.I find this a more difficult problem to consider, because I cannot simply dismiss them in the same way. I have been part of those congregations, and so cannot simply argue that their presentation of Christianity is anathema to me. It isn't - theologically, I find a lot of common ground.

And yet the same concept does influence me. The thing is, a church group where someone with my skills and experience cannot find a proper place is one that is broken. I would accept that I am not the easiest person to work with - but then the church is full of "challenging" people. I have found places in churches before, so I can be fitted in. So if I cannot be fitted in, maybe there is something wrong with the church?

I think I come to the conclusion that if a church congregation cannot find the right place for me, then it is not the right group for me. I don't think I believe in a God who wants troublesome people like me to conform. So, in the end, if I am wrong in this, and their God would have me sit in quiet acceptance, then I think I would have problems with that God.

The difference here is that I don't think they believe in this sort of God. I think, in the end, it is just that I don't fit, that I cannot find spiritual fulfillment in this sort of organisation.

So what if I am wrong? It is quite possible, and I should accept that, but if God is one for whom my wrongness is a problem, or if God is of the sort that insists on my being in a church congregation or believing the hatred of the fundamentalists, then this sort of rigid, conformist God is not one that I can accept is the creator of the universe, the maker of the wonder and beauty that I see around me.

That is not a God I could worship.