Change

There is a myth - with some truth in it - that women only marry a man so that they can change him. There is also a belief in some churches - many churches, actually - that their role is to help people to change. I am increasingly convinced that this is actually not very Christian.

Now you have finished spluttering into your drink about this, I know that there is a lot of biblical and especially Gospel teaching about change. Joseph was told "he must be born again", which is clearly about change. The woman caught in adultery is told to "go and sin no more" - that s, change her lifestyle. So yes, there is a biblical challenge to change to be more like God.

The problem I have is that this change is something for an individual and God to do.It is not our role to tell people to change - it is our place to accept people as they are, and trust God to deal with them in his time. We seem to like to change this around, and insist people need to change, and struggle to accept them until they fit in.

The question is, what would it be like if we - Christians - focused on simply accepting people as they are, introducing them to God, and letting God do whatever he wants? For one thing, He would not change the things we consider so important. But he would start to change the things that make a real difference. They might change into people we don't like. They might change into people who challenge us to meet with God again.

Change is difficult. The other thing that we as Christians need to do is help and support people who are changing, who are going through difficult times. We need to support them as they fail to change, fail to make progress, and continue to accept them exactly as they are - difficult, stroppy, moody, whatever. Helping, supporting, holding people as they work through their issues is a far harder thing to do. But we are not called to the easy route.

to an extent, this is what I am seeking to do through the BoredWithChurch.info site and support - just accept people as and where they are, listening to their struggles, and seeking to support them as things change for them. Not criticising, not insisting on a particular route, just trying to see if I can do anything to help people struggling. To my mind, that is Christianity.