The stages of church engagement

1. I'm a Christian, therefore I go to church
2. I am a Christian because I go to church
3. I am a Christian. I go to church because I find church is a helpful aspect of my faith
4. I am a Christian. I don't go to church because it is not helpful to me

These are not "growth stages" or anything like that. Some people - many people - will not go through all of them. Stage 1 may be very short. But what is interesting is what happens when the church is damaging and negative, and a person becomes disillusioned with it.

At stage 1, the response is liable to be "Maybe I don't understand this Christian lark. Forget it"

At stage 2, the response is liable to be "I no longer go to church, so I am probably no longer a Christian"

At stage 3, the response may be a move to stage 4.

The point here is that it is very difficult to move to stage 4 - to maintain a faith, and grow and develop your faith, if you have not reached stage 3, where church is helpful and positive, but your faith is not defined by church. Of course, defining and expressing your faith externally to the church, in fact, making church an optional extra to your faith, is extremely challenging to the power structures of the church.

The thing is, Jesus did not come to start a "church". He came to bring people to God. There was already a religious system and structure in place, so if his purpose was to produce another one, he would probably have started with the existing one. And probably not been so outspoken in his comments about it. The truth is that stage 3 is the point of maturity, where faith is something that may find church helpful, but is not dependent on it.

The church is helpful for some people, and not for others, in their Christian development. The important thing is that we engage with God, that our relationship or experience of God is important. Some things are helpful, others are not. We need to work out which is which, and not be told by others.